Hidden in Plain Sight - Year of Extracurricular Studies
by Iesous Darma
Summary: Harry, the unknown twin of Christopher Potter, and Hermione, the mudblood, are looked down and are shunned by everyone. They don't care and just want to be left alone. Just what would their fifth year experience be if everyone ignores them? wbwl thief!Harry mute!Hermione Grey Harry/Hermione.
1. Basic story info

**Basic story info**

 **A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **A/N2: So that no one gets confused here is the basic rundown of what happened so far with other tidbits that are helpful**

 **Prequel:**

Lily and James Potter had twins, Hadrian James Potter (older) and Christopher Charles Potter (younger). On that faithful Hollow's Eve when Voldemort attacked and left the twins orphaned Dumbledore declares Christopher as the boy who lived and Hadrian as a squib.

Christopher, who is a redhead with brown eyes, is raised with the loving warmth of the Weasley family and trained by Dumbledore from a young age. Hadrian, a green eyed blacked haired boy, was dumped on the doorstep of the Dursleys.

On September the first, on the Hogwarts Express, Hadrian meets Hermione and connects with her. Hermione is sorted into Gryffindor, Hadrian into Hufflepuff.

 **The Twins, The Truth:**

Hadrian Dursley does not know that Christopher is his twin brother, he does not know he is descendent from the Potters, nor does he particularly care. He believes for all intense and purposes that he is a Muggleborn on a scholarship, like Hermione.

Christopher Potter is led to believe, with Remus, Sirius and everyone else in the magical world, that his brother one Hadrian James Potter died along with his parents, even though Hadrian is a carbon copy of his late father with his mother's eyes. (No glasses)

 **Money:**

1 Knut = 10 pence

1 Sickle = 2 Pounds, 50 Pence

1 Galleon = 50 Pounds

 **Blood status:**

Pure Blood – born from two magical parents, in which case Harry Potter is a pureblood

Half Blood – born from a magical and non-magical parent, in which case Riddle, Snape is a Half Blood

Muggleborn, Mudblod (read mud as fresh and fertile blood) – born from two non-magical parents, in which case Hermione is a muggleborn or mudblood.

Special case Draco Malfoy and Blood purists – even though I have made clear all classifications some people will still spout that unless you can trace your magical roots back 3 generations you are not a pureblood, that Harry Potter from cannon is Half Blood and that muggleborn are nothing but dirt that should be cleansed. (because Logic)

 **The Trace:**

There are two requirements in order for the trace to function, a wand of an underage which or wizard and that said wand be used in a non-warded area. In layman terms that means that if you are under 17 and use YOUR wand in Diagon Alley, Platform 9 ¾, in your Home or in the great wild you get an Owl from the lovely Mafalda Hopkirk and you are invited to share your excuse in the DMLE and or pay a fine.

However if you are a Pure Blood or Half Blood (check above for classifications) then you are most likely living under some protective wards and can use your parent's wands to do magic in the summer.

With the above said Muggleborns are basically screwed.

Let us not forget about the possibility that if you do not use a wand to cast a spell, keep it **relatively** under powered and no one reports any discrepancies the beloved Ministry of Magic will be none the wiser. Sadly wandless magic, beyond the **most simplest** spells, (example: Lumos) is only a myth, right?


	2. The Promise

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Oct 31** **st** **1991, Late Evening**

 **Hospital Wing, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hermione was still lying on her bed, recovering from the shock from the **Troll Incident** as people started calling it. _'Gossip really does travel faster than light.'_ She thought. She was in a picture perfect pose of how a proper patient should lie. Her body unmoving, her eyes unblinking, staring straight into nothingness seemingly dead to the world. Her face set in an expressionless mask. Her brown hair covering her pale skin. If people didn't play close attention to the fact that she was breathing then they would confuse her with a life size doll.

She heard the sound of moving covers followed by the sound of a drunk trying to walk in a straight line.

Hermione, still not looking away from the spot she is staring at, scooted over making room for a second person. With the grace of a led weight, the second person, namely one Hadrian Dursley, sat down next to Hermione.

He gently lifted his recently healed left leg, trying to minimize the pain that he showed on his face. A herculean feat in itself considering he arrived with broken ribs, a cracked skull, numerous cuts and bruises, a broken arm and leg.

Hermione turned her head around to look at his first and only friend's face. What she saw broke her little heart. His face was red, covered with a sheet of sweat, his long black hair a mess, some strands wild, some sticking to his face. His eyes, once full of fire and joy was now a dull green in comparison. He was still panting from the small walk from one bed to another. Cuts, bruises covered his face, still not fully healed from the encounter.

"Today I realized something", started the boy after catching his breath, "after fat and smelly disturbed our little talk with one another, I was scared. I was beyond scared. I think I can honestly admit that I pissed myself, not that we will ever find out with all the blood." Hadrian said trying to inject a touch of humor in the conversation. Seeing as his attempt failed miserably he continued with a straight face.

"I was scared for you. In the span of a few seconds scenario after scenario played out in my head on what he could do to you. The only thing I could think of was to protect you."

At that point Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, alright charging the troll might not have been the best idea ever…"

Hermione raised her eyebrow a bit higher.

"Fine, it was downright stupid and I should have given it a bit more thought. Forgive me, I lack experience in life and death situations." said the boy in exasperation.

Hermione lowered her eyebrow, and kept looking at Hadrian. To the trained eye of Hadrian he saw her expression soften.

"The point I'm trying to make is that I realized that you are very important to me. I didn't tell you but my home life was less than ideal", at this point Hermione cuddled into Hadrian's side, at which Hadrian flinched, "so I don't exactly know what that means yet but if needed to, I would repeat this day over."

Hermione thought about what Hadrian said, coming to some sort of conclusion. A pained expression crossed her face for an instant before schooling it back to neutrality. She gently started to let go of Hadrian, trying to get away only to be held back by Hadrian's good arm.

"It's **not** your fault I got hurt, so you can't protect me by distancing yourself. So just drop that idea all together." Hadrian said, already expecting something like this from her.

Hermione shot up, staring into Hadrian's green eyes that were slowly morphing from their usual jovial appearance to one that could cut diamond.

"To explain let me make something clear to you **my** dearest Hermione. I am not stupid. I do not trust people, be it adults or other children, so I act childish, foolhardy, naïve, ignorant. My vocabulary is also quite extensive though my grammar could use some work. To fool the people around me. There is safety being thought of as inconsequential. "

Hermione nodded, understanding the idea behind Hadrian's words. Even she was fooled into thinking that Hadrian was a bit immature for his years. _'Damn, he's good.'_ She thought.

"The people who are actually at fault are the staff for allowing such a thing to even happen and not having a system in place to warn everyone inside the castle." Hadrian finished with a sigh.

"I don't know if you were paying attention at the time but the first thing McGonagall did after I return from Death's doorstep was to berate me for not being at the leaving feast. Not heading towards my common room and finished with how disappointed my parents would be if they knew how I disrespect the rules…" shaking his head at the utter stupidity of her words Hadrian continued.

"I don't know about you but my confidence in the competency of the staff is currently non-existent. If given the chance I would transfer out of here immediately." Hadrian grabbed Hermione's hand and gave it a small squeeze to reassure her.

"However on one hand I'm on a scholarship and that option isn't available to me. It was either Hogwarts or Obliviation. On the other hand I would not leave you here with all the bigotry and stupidity. Not to mention the table manners of Ronald Weasley which has also became a legend at the Hufflepuff table. "

Hadrian took a deep breath before continuing.

"As I said I didn't have the best of home lives and I don't know much about emotions or people but I do know enough to understand that you will go through a kind of post traumatic shock. I'm no psychologist but I think seeing your friend become a chew toy for a troll isn't healthy for anyone's state of mind. So to try and help you in some way I want to make a promise to you.

I promise that I will protect you, that I will protect our friendship. In that order. I would rather have you angry at me then visiting your funeral. I will protect it with until my last breath after which I will resurrect myself and keep on protecting. Even after all the flesh has rotten from my bones, and my bones turn to dust my spirit will continue on its noble cause." Hadrian stated with the utmost seriousness that he could muster.

Hermione squeezed Hadrian tightly. "The last two months in this nuthouse has been the most happiest in my life all because of your company I can at least do that much to repay you. Keep precious things close to you, I at least know as much."

"Even if I have to endure torture every minute of my life I promise that I will stand by you. If you are singled out by the entire school. If I have to I'll face down Snape, McGonagall even Dumbledore himself. Continuing that line of thought let's add the entire magical community, Great Britain, the World, the Universe and Gods or Demons."

With a thoughtful look he looked at Hermione.

"Did I leave anything out? Oh right!" Hadrian exclaimed "I'll even face down your parents if I have to!" Hadrian said with a small smile, which immediately disappeared when he saw Hermione's face. Hermione, quickly buried her face into Hadrian's chest.

"Let me guess, I'm not the only one who has trouble's at home, right?"

Nod of the head.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Shake of the head.

"Will you let me help you?"

Shake of the head.

"I veto that decision by the way. I just promise to help you. Don't think for even a moment that I'll back down. I made a promise and I swear I'll keep to it!" Hadrian said a bit more roughly then he wanted but before Hermione could react a bright light encompassed his body.

"Huh? What was that?" Hadrian said in confusion.

Hermione, her eidetic mind racing, running through likely answers as to what the light could mean. After about a minute she came to the realization that Hadrian, knowingly or unknowingly just made a magical vow, an irreversible promise to be her friend. Torn between smiling like the Cheshire cat for having found someone she could finally trust and yell at him for being an idiot, she made the only logical choice.

While all this was playing out in Hermione's mind Hadrian was still scratching his head trying to figure out what just happened. Figuratively that is. He was getting frustrated that his other arm was broken, thus couldn't actually scratch his head. In his frustration he missed the slight smile that crossed Hermione's face. However he **did not** miss the same bright light coming from Hermione which almost blinded him.

.oOo.

 **Oct 31** **st** **1991, Late Evening**

 **Headmaster's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Behind the gargoyle statue with the candy styled password, up the spiral stairs passed the mysterious wooden door, sits our favorite meddling old fool. Stroking his beard contemplating how his plans could have gone so wrong. Emotion flashed through his eyes ranging from annoyance, irritations and contemplations resulting in a usual twinkle when he figured his solution to his situation.

Maybe the problem wasn't with him, but that Miss Granger was a muggleborn? It is harder to control muggleborns and muggleraised because of their muggle background, lack of knowledge and respect of the wizarding world.

Our favorite Headmaster sat back contemplating if he still had any use for Miss Granger. He put her into Gryffindor when she should have been a Ravenclaw knowing that she wouldn't fit and would most likely be alienated. It would have made it easier to manipulate her dependence on adults resulting in him having his own spy in Gryffindor tower. He already had the Weasley but Ron wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed and the twins had an attention span of two. Miss Granger would have turned out as a fine replacement for McGonagall or even Severus if only the life debt didn't go to that annoying muggleborn. The plan was for Christopher to save her but it wasn't meant to be, now her loyalties would be easily distracted much like Peter Pettigrew's but he was chosen for that.

No, he had no more use of her. On the contrary she might even pose a danger to his plans.

"The last thing I need is for her to try to control the situation or stop my plans. The girl worries more about expulsion, and what teacher's think making her unable to understand the sacrifices to be made for the greater good."

He could already imagine her bringing in other not-wanted people into situations. The girl would probably make a big deal about a broomstick.

One or more nastier rumors about her and her muggleborn friend should be sufficient to alienate them from the rest of the school. That way even if they do not return to the muggle world their words would hold no sway.

As for Christopher's situation… maybe we need somebody with less backbone? With access to materials that only purebloods would have access to? If only Arthur could have been given full access rights to the Potter vaults. If only Lily and James didn't make Sirius Black the kid's guardian we could have had full access already. Then again if Sirius would have been more controllable then maybe I would make an effort into getting him out of Azkaban.

Dumbledore got out of his chair to pace over to his window, where he remembered seeing young Neville next to the lake, examining the plants. The twinkle back in his eye as he realizes his access to an Ancient and Noble house's assets was closer then he thought. If he couldn't use Miss Granger's keen mind he would use Neville's pureblood status, legacy and assets much like he had used James. Neville would be a perfect replacement, seeing as he didn't have to do any extra work. A few compulsions a potion if needed and he would have the perfect replacement for Hermione.


	3. Summer is when you rob,steal and plunder

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Summer break, 1995**

 **Somewhere in downtown London.**

'Twas a night in the beginning of August, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, except…

"WHY!?" came the scream from the green eyed teen. Pacing up and down like a caged animal he continued his rant. "Why are you so persistent? Why don't you just fucking fold like everyone else? Six hours! For six hours I have been casting on you and you are still there, with a smug smile on your face!"

At this point it would be appropriate to point out that it is 2 AM.

"Tell me your secret!"

It would also be appropriate to point out at that he is currently screaming at a brick wall. Or at least what is objectively a brick wall, but for someone casting for 6 hours and had less then that amount of sleep it would look like the incarnation of all that is evil and must be destroyed.

To understand why a healthy, albeit somewhat disheveled, looking teen is screaming at an innocent brick wall you need to understand his current situation.

The green eyed, long black haired teen is one Hadrian Dursley and he is currently renovating No.13 Grimmauld Place, or is at least trying to. His plan, to just cast Reparo at everything and anything failed spectacularly. You see Hadrian's strong point is his sheer amount of raw magical power. If he would let loose then he could probably animate the house to sing or dance. So he got into the habit of just overpowering his spells to get what he wants. Sadly if he were to let loose now then the magical detectors at the Ministry of Magic would alert the lovely Aurors in red to his current location. He would also have to answer some awkward questions, like:

Why are you in the middle of London and not at your home?

Where are your guardians?

Do they even know you are here?

What are you doing with an abandoned house?

Why are there muggle repellent wards on this property?

Do you even own this property?

Questions he would like left unanswered seeing as how he is currently running away and stealing a house at once. Then again is it theft when the house is already abandoned and in dire need of renovation?

So as our readers might surmise, Hadrian had the bright idea of becoming independent, living off the summer with the rest of his yearly scholarship, obtaining housing by hijacking a building, that people wouldn't mind to see disappear, to make it livable.

"What in the world could go wrong with magic?" Hadrian said to Hermione at the train station.

Having a mental breakdown could be counted as something to go wrong, but with Hadrian it might just be an everyday occurrence. Sadly the brains of the operation, the logical part of the two, namely Hermione Granger was currently out of the house visiting a relative acquiring precious resources. Food that wasn't canned beans.

Who would have thought food in down town London would be more expensive then in Surrey?

That his usual modus operandi is non-usable and the calming voice of his beloved Hermione is nowhere is just the beginning of his problems. Let us not forget to point out that ever since the beginning of summer he has been living in a rundown house, with no warm water and where an electric light bulb was luxury. Where all the eye could see was walls that were cracked, wallpaper peeling off the wall, uneven floor boards or just gone, broken tiles.

Let it be said Hadrian was never spoiled, living in a cupboard for most of his life made sure of it, but the sheer thought of a hot bath, a warm bed, being one spell away frustrated him to no end.

All of us have a breaking point. All of us have one straw that will break our back and that one crack on the wall, which couldn't be repaired by a Reparo, while every other damn crack could be was Hadrian's.

He was just staring at the wall. In his delusional state he imagined the crack forming into a smug smile, forming a face and outright mocking him. In his fury he concentrated all his power in his right fist and punched the wall.

Weirdly enough he felt no pain.

A crack appeared on the wall, and in a spider web pattern started to spread out not unlike you would see in a cartoon and as in a cartoon the wall crumbled into dust, revealing another wall. However this wall was different. Around the wall Hadrian could sense magical wards which means….

He broke out into a smile and materialized his wand from thin air.

Magical wards means magical residence, which in turn also means an area with a high concentration of magic. Which all together means no trace and he could let loose THE DOGS OF WAR!

"BWAHAHAHA"

 _'_ _Hadrian, before you do anything stupid, do an experiment to test your theory.'_ The little voice in Hadrian's head said, sounding like the voice of Hermione.

"Damn." Hadrian said aloud. Taking a few steps back and casting an overpowered Lumos that was on par with the Sun itself, he waited to see if he would get an owl. Double checking on his nonexistent wrist watch that an appropriate amount of time has passed he put his maniacal grin back on his face and continued where he left of.

"HAHAHA" Hadrian laughed as he pointed his wand at the wards of his neighbor's house.

.oOo.

At 1:45 in the morning the Terrible Twins, Hell's Carrots, snuck out of their bed. Why? Why to cause chaos and mischief of course! They headed downstairs preparing to cast a prank on the wall behind the couch, which would make it seem like the couch and wall came alive, eating people's hair. Knowing that the spell was relatively harmless they thought it would be awesome. They prepared to cast the spell at precisely 2 AM so it could harass Arthur and Remus before the spell expires and they could feign ignorance, having the alibi of not even being out of bed. With a swish and flick of their wands the purple light hit the wall, waiting to test it one twin watched the wall while the other watched the steps.

"Fred?" said George.

"Yes?" said George to Fred.

"What spell did you give me?"

"The hair eating spell" replied the twin in annoyance.

"Is it supposed to cause the wall to crack?" said the twin. Before his very eyes, cracks were forming from the exact point the spell hit the wall.

"Umm… no"

The one watching the wall responded. "Do you remember that one time when we did that prank on Snape that went wrong?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Do you remember how we ran all around the castle before he stopped following us?"

"Yes brother" annoyed that they were going down memory lane while they were supposed to be doing a prank.

The one watching the wall said, now barely in a whisper, as he keeps his eyes locked on the ever increasing cracks. "Do you remember the last thing I said before we ran?"

"Yeah, you said every twin for himself."

"Well, dear twin of mine. EVERY TWIN FOR HIMSELF!"

With the last said the one watching the wall bolted up the staircase closely followed by his beloved brother, not even waiting for an explanation.

Unbeknown to them at the very moment they reached their room the wall in the drawing room silently exploded, covering it in dust and debris revealing the form of a silently cackling boy.

.oOo.

 **The next day**

 **No. 12 Grimmauld Place, secret HQ of the Order of the Phoenix, current residence of the Weasley family**

As every morning Molly Weasley woke up from bed. Did her morning cleansing ritual. Dawn her new outfit, that looked like yesterday's outfit, and went down as usual to cook up breakfast for the house.

Budding her eyes awake she walked through the living room absent mindedly congratulating herself on how well she made the kids clean the place. _'It feels like an entirely new room!'_ She thought as she walked down in to the kitchen. When she walked up to the sink she waved her wand instructing her magic to peel the potatoes only to realize nothing happened.

She looked down realizing that the entire sink was missing, she then frantically searched through the cabinets only to realize that even the cabinets were missing. There was nothing in the kitchen but left over wood from counters and cabinets that were removed.

Rushing back out in the living room she realized that every single thing, even the carpet, even the paint from the wall was missing. Hell even her beloved clock was gone.

She did the only sensible thing she could think of. She screamed. This wasn't a normal scream, this was a blood curdling, everyone wake up stop what you are doing and come to me scream.

Startled yelps and bangs followed by footsteps were heard as people ran down the steps to see what is wrong with Molly, only to be met with the shocking display of the emptiness of the living room. If they paid close attention they would also have realized that all the other rooms lay empty as well.

Sirius Black was barely awoken by the screaming from downstairs. Being used to Bellatrix' screams in the High Security ward made one used to such. Realizing that it was Molly Weasley he got up. He slowly trudged down the steps, with a yawn and a scratch to the back of his neck. When he got to the steps he realized it was blocked by a wall of children and adults all standing there with their mouths gaping open.

He looked around to see what everybody was staring at until he realized all of the furniture was missing. Somebody even made an effort to steal the carpet and curtains. A spark of amusement lit up in his eyes as he watched everyone run around like headless chickens from hearing that everything was stolen.

.oOo.

In the neighboring house, sitting on a plush sofa was the laughing form of Hadrian. Watching through the gaping hole in the wall, which was hidden by a simple notice-me-not charm, as the Weasley family try to make sense of what happened. Trying desperately to breath, Hadrian fell of his sofa.

To his right was a recently **borrowed** camcorder taping everything, immortalizing every second of this glorious event.

To his left was the portrait of a laughing elderly lady, who insists that his name is James, not Hadrian, as they will restore the glory of the House of Black, whatever the hell that means.

.oOo.

Sirius called out Kreacher. The little elf popped into place mumbling about nasty blood traitor masters. Sirius looked him in the eyes and demanded that he made him breakfast like he would make for his brother or mother, just food nothing extra, and to deliver it to his room. Turning back up the steps Sirius walked groggily back up the stairs mumbling about needing more sleep.

Remus facepalmed as he watched his friend go back up the stairs after he ordered breakfast from Kreacher, like nothing happened.

Molly, rushed back in the room to tell Arthur that the floo powder, the wood and even the fire was stolen. Arthur surprised at how even the fire could be stolen asked Molly to clarify. The children were also checking their own personal belongings to see what had been stolen. The cry of Ronald Weasley, "They even took your Firebolt!?" could be heard by everyone from their room.

Remus facepalmed, realized that as the only sensible adult he should contact Dumbledore and sent of his Patronus calling for aid.

After a minute Remus heard a knock at the door. Surprised that Dumbledore had arrived so soon he headed through the doorway, hoping not to disturb the sleeping portrait of Walburga, only to realize that even THE DOOR HAS BEEN STOLEN!

Startled from the realization that his door has been stolen, he came face to face with a man he has never seen before.

"Hello good Sir I don't mean to pry, you are obviously doing some kind of renovations but I was hoping of a moment of your time to see if you were interested in a few brochures about my church…"

Remus completely gob smacked just stood there trying to comprehend how a muggle got past the wards. Snapping out of it he slowly reached for his wand only to come up empty. Realizing that he doesn't even have his wand on him, he started to panic. He could have sworn that he always kept his wand on his person for emergency! Looking away from his empty hand he looked up to meet eye to eye with Snape, who clearly barged passed the now ruffled muggle.

With an angry look on his face or was it his default expression, and a prize worthy sneer he asked.

"What are you doing you idiot mutt?"

"The doors missing! My wands missing! Muggles got past threw the wards and I don't know what I am supposed to do!" Remus yelled frantically hoping that this was all a bad dream.

Snape slapped Remus, "Snap out of it!" he yelled at him.

Impatiently he pushed Remus out of the way, barging into the living room, hoping to find someone more competent to talk to.

As the unknown muggle walked down the stairs he passed two not too happy police officers. Being woken up early in the morning would do that to anyone. They were ordered to investigate a disturbance at No. 12 .

They made their way up the stairs just as an old man in purple robes covered in bright yellow stars popped in behind them. This old man, completely ignoring the presents of the muggles, just stared at the building in shock; realizing the wards were gone, like they were never there at the first place.

.oOo.

Hermione was fighting sleep as she walked back to No. 13. She was loaded with bags of fresh food. _'No more canned beans for me.'_ , she thought happily as she turned a corner only to come face to face with a warzone. An ambulance with three police cars were pulled in front of a house which she clearly remembered **was not** there yesterday. As she came closer she could make out the forms of Professor Snape and the criminal Sirius Black being tackled on the ground.

"This is all your fault Black!" bellowed Snape as his face was kissing the pavement.

"How is this my fault Snivellus?"

"It just is!" yelled Snape before being showed forcefully into the police car, followed by Black.

Trying to blink the sleep from her eye she scanned the entire scene.

The Weasley family, the twins and Arthur, were trying to hold Molly from drawing her wand as she screamed her lungs out. Professor Lupin was kneeling on the pavement staring at the sky, waiting for an answer from God. Black and Professor Snape were fighting amongst one another in the back of a police car. Dumbledore was shepherding Christopher with Ronald and Ginevra to safety.

Connecting all the dots she came to the logical conclusion: **Hadrian Dursley!**

With power that King Kong would be proud of she barged through the door of No. 13, searching for Hadrian.

Hadrian who was still banging his fists on the floor felt the hair on the back of his neck tingle. Jumping up he came face to face with in irate and clearly pissed off Hermione Granger who was trying to bore a hole in Hadrian's head with her eyes.

Hadrian, acting like this was an everyday occurrence, sat back down.

"I guess you already met our lovely neighbors." He said with a small toothy smile. "As you can see while you were gone I with my limitless potential and genius managed to solve our house problem." He finished waving his hand around for emphasis. "I hope you don't mind green."

Taking her time for the first time since she barged in she took a good look around the newly renovated living room. The cracks were gone. The walls were all decorated with a dark green that matched the furniture, carpet, curtains. Weirdly enough almost all articles were decorated with snakes or some other form of serpent symbolism, but all in all the entire living room looked brand new.

"I fixed the heating, we have hot water and you have **got to** see our new tub. Still didn't figure out the damn electricity BUT we have gas lighting. So I guess that's also something." Hadrian said while stealing glances at Hermione's expression. Seeing as how her anger was cooling down from an explosive 12 to a manageable 10 he pressed on.

"Now I know what you might think and I promise it is not what it looks like!" Hadrian defended.

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Well yes it does look like I stole everything and I did take it without asking but you must understand that all most all of the furniture was in dire need of repair and they just left it neglected. They were even throwing out priceless magical artifacts! Isn't that right Grandmamma Black?"

"GLORY TO THE HOUSE OF BLACK!" the portrait screamed.

"That's Grandma Black, she's an all-round swell gall after you get to know her."

Hermione just blinked.

"Now you ask yourself. Is this all? Of course not. Besides the immaculate furniture we also have a fully functional ward stone equipped with highly dangerous and illegal wards including but not limited to siege wards, and other wards that I couldn't make out yet. So now even you can practice magic during the summer!" Hadrian added with a lopsided grin. Seeing Hermione's defenses crumble he went for the killing blow.

"Last but not least we have a fully stocked library of an ancient and noble house! Yes you heard me right, thousands of books are at your disposal in our new **personal library**! We also have potatoes peeling in the kitchen." Hadrian added with a flourish.

Hermione was fighting an internal battle and loosing. She wanted to be mad at Hadrian for stealing and causing chaos but on the other hand he did steal from the Weasleys, people who knowingly in the case of the Percy, the twins, Ron and Ginny or unknowingly in case of Arthur and Molly belittle her heritage and always make an effort to piss her off. Then we have the thought of an entire library to herself. Wait! How do the Weasley's have the library of an ancient and noble family? How did the Black family come into play? The portrait seemed alright with being stolen so it **might** be alright? Hermione still tried to figure out the entire picture but her train of thought always kept returning to a simple fact. She now has her own library. With that she let a small smile creep up on her face.

Hadrian waiting on this jumped up from the sofa and dragged Hermione up the stairs.

"Come on, let me show you the library. I also found this wicked locket with an S on it. It even talks back…"


	4. Our new clubhouse!

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Chapter 4: Our new clubhouse!**

 **First week of September 1995,**

 **Random Corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

On an early morning a plain looking blacked haired boy with the most powerful green eyes ever was leading a blindfolded plain looking brown haired girl by the hand. This in itself would be a strange sight if people would actually pay attention to them. You see, their school uniforms are augmented with notice-me-not runes in such a manner that they blend into the crowd. Genius really, they become invisible in plain sights. Even the famous Mad-Eye Moody would only see a couple of random nondescript school kids that do not deserve any more attention.

Was this made by the brightest witch of the age to prove herself?

Was this made by the most powerful wizard of the age to show off his power?

It was made out of pure necessity to uphold their basic human rights.

It all started in first year. For some reason unknown to the two, almost the entire school started to avoid them after the **Troll Incident**. Even the teachers started looking at them like they would blow up the school at any moment. If they were to believe the gossip network then rumor has it that these two students were the ones who tried to release a troll in the school for a yet undiscovered reason. Which is absurd, isn't it?

Well Hermione did say that wizards lack common sense, didn't she?

The only person who was civil to them was Professor Quirinus Quirrell. After you get past all of the stuttering, and the smell of garlic, he was a pretty nice guy. He taught them how to survive in Hogwarts. He showed them were the kitchens were, so they could avoid mealtimes in the Great Hall. He showed them were most if not all of the secret passages lay so they could more easily avoid the whispers, stairs, pointings and bullies. He also pointed out an easy way to get to the restricted section, which pleased the brown haired girl immensely. He even taught them how to fight, which helped them out more times than they wanted to admit.

Naturally they were suspicious of the kind professor. Why would he be the only one to help them out when even the universally kind Pomona Sprout gave them the evil eye? What hidden agenda does he hide? Maybe he was interested how Hermione seemingly without much effort switched to silent casting after the **Troll Incident**? With the other option being to fend for themselves in an alien world almost totally against them they had little choice but to cautiously accept his offer.

After almost a year they decided to trust the quirky professor. On the day when they wanted to open up to Quirrell, where the black haired boy wanted to show his affinity with wandless magic and the brown haired girl wanted to inquire about a blood red stone that she got from the boy, the professor just disappeared without a trace.

If they were to believe the Headmaster, which they don't, then Professor Quirinus Quirrell passed away peacefully in his sleep.

Things didn't get any better in second year. After the first attack the school unanimously decided, based on the rumors from the **Troll incident** , that they were the most likely culprits. The girl had enough brains and the boy had enough skill to accomplish such a feat. During that year they could have sworn that they were being followed. Either by a portrait, a ghost, or a tabby cat. That was the year when they decided to dumb down their academic performance. Being stalked one year was one year too many. Besides all they have to do is pass their OWLs and NEWTs. The rest don't really matter in the long run. Luckily for their sanity they managed to find a quiet bathroom on the second floor where they could be left alone.

It also opened up to a secret chamber that they only referred to as the **Secret Chamber**. The owner clearly had some attraction to snakes, why else would the person have so many statues of them. Bribing the sole ghost with a few issues of PlayWitch ensured her silence. Sadly all good things must come to an end when other people find your **Secret Chamber**. They originally didn't mind splitting the room with the redhead, everyone has their own problems and all that, but it became too much when she started to invite her friends, first a guy named Tom then the golden trio but she crossed the line when even the headmaster joined in. Luckily for them they never bumped into one another. What is so interesting about snake statues I will never understand.

Third year was the definition of stupidity or insanity.

 **Flashback Sept 1** **st** **1993**

Hermione and Hadrian were sitting in their compartment at the end of the train near the luggage cart, from experience they learned that this is where they would be the least bothered. Hadrian was glancing out of the window watching as the scenery changed, getting glimpses of the train as it turned. They had already changed into their uniforms not bothering with modesty. It brought each other a sense of comfort knowing that they felt safe in one another's presence to the extent that even the thought of nudity doesn't even raise an eyebrow. The ride itself was pretty smooth, meaning that so far they managed to avoid the students. They bought snacks from the trolley when it passed, refilling Hadrian's malnourished and starved frame.

Hermione got out of Hadrian's embrace, preparing to head out of the compartment heading for the toilets. Hadrian gave her a speculating glance, silently asking if he should accompany her. She shook her head in the negative. Holding her wand in her pocket she headed out. With every step a feel of unease started to settle over her. She so desperately wanted to quash it. Say that she was just being overly paranoid. That it's all in her head, but the memories of previous incidents just started uncontrollably flashing through her mind.

Her book bag ripping open, spilling it's content over the grand staircase.

Her legs locking together seeming out of their own volition, Hadrian's arm being the only thing to stop her fall.

Items and pieces of clothing disappearing from her dorm.

Then the more darker memories started to flash in front of her eyes.

Her shampoo being laced with itching powder.

Her teeth growing to the size of a beaver's.

Her hair falling out leaving her bald.

Writing appearing all over on her skin and clothes saying "Demon, Evil, Traitor" the moment she stepped into the Great Hall.

 _'_ _What god have I offended to deserve such?'_ she thought as she tried to hold back her tears. The first thing she learned was to never show weakness.

Hadrian didn't fare any better, however his treatment was more physical then psychological. It almost became a common occurrence for him to show up with bruises, cuts, broken bones or other **spell accidents** as the teachers put it. _'God bless small mercies!'_ Madam Pomfrey's neutral stance on everything made her domain one of the last safe places in the entire school.

If it wasn't for Hadrian she would have lost it a long time ago. He is the only one who brings light and warmth to her darkened world. Without him she may even had thoughts of suicide. There is only so much one person could take, but by sharing the burden they halve the problem. Even though the bullying became progressively worse they did manage to fight back and leave a mark, hopefully this will be the year when they can finally change the tide and be finally left alone. _'Wishful thinking.'_

Hermione was so lost in her contemplations that she didn't even consciously notice that she was already heading back to her cabin. She did however hear footsteps behind her.

She gave a deep sigh. _'I deeply hoped that I could at least avoid a confrontation on the train. Oh well, guess I'll start this semester with a week's worth of detention. At least I hope it's with Filch, he's at least civil towards me.'_

This is following Hadrian's doctrine of "if they want violence they will get violence". So every time they were confronted with bullies they would make them pay in blood. Surprisingly enough the number of confrontations halved during the first month alone, sadly now they hold the record for most detentions, even passing the Weasley twins with a wide margin. The only thing the headmaster was good for is his **no expulsion** policy. Hermione idly wondered if he would expel someone if they committed murder.

Taking a deep breath she closed off her emotions and went into a trans like state. Gone was the frail girl of almost fourteen, gone was the knowledge loving bookworm and in her place a battle-hardened woman appeared with the single focus of causing as much pain to the would be attacker while protecting herself.

With a curse in mind and her wand glowing strong she turned, pointing her wand at eye level only to come face to face with… nothing.

Wand still pointing in place, she surveyed the corridor, knowing that her attacker was still in front of her. She couldn't move, feeling that if she did, she would let her attacker go, but before she could fire of a hex the voice of Christopher Potter brought her to a halt.

"Don't fire, we're friends!" Hermione herd the pleading voice of Christopher as he started to appear, first his head then his body, also revealing the second body of his friend Ron Weasley behind him.

Ron had his hands up like an idiot while Christopher resembled a child wrapped up in his blanket. Hermione couldn't help but wonder how desperate the magical world is to think these two were its heroes. Taken out of her thoughts by Christopher whom she just realized was talking to her.

"I just want to talk to you, to help you."

Hermione just looked at Christopher like he lost his remaining sanity.

 _'_ _What in the world could he help me with? Didn't you campaign for the expulsion of the Heirs of Slytherin before they could become more powerful? Wasn't it only a few months ago when he led mobs of students against her and Hadrian? Bind their magic and oblviate them?'_ she remembered their last few months of their second year when the insanity reached its zenith. Her tension leaving only to be replaced with anger.

Christopher sighed, handing over his cloak to Ron he gently took Hermione's hand. Hermione somewhat perplexed tried to remove her hand but Christopher had a firm hold on her, and an obvious goal in mind.

"I need you to talk to me so I could help you."

Raising a single eyebrow Hermione looked Christopher in the eye.

"I do not understand you, you need to talk to me so I can understand you." continued Christopher in a pleading voice.

Ron, sighing in irritation started, translating. "She's not hard to understand, mate. She just asked you what in the world are you talking about."

Surprised, Christopher looked over at Ron. "How in the world did you understand what she said?"

"I just looked at her and I understood what she said." Ron said offhandedly, "doesn't everyone do that? I mean come on, she's been doing this for almost four years now. How do you think everyone else understands her?"

With a look of confusion between Ron and Hermione, Christopher looked at Hermione and asked in the most serious tone he could muster under the situation. "Hermione, are you telepathic?"

Hermione, with a sigh of frustration just rolled her eyes while Ron facepalmed.

Ron continued to translate. "Mate, she's mute, not telepetithic or whatever you said."

Christopher massaging his forehead like the entire conversation was a massive headache, grabbed Hermione's hand tighter and pulled her closer.

"Look, I'm sorry for not saving you in first year if I did you would still be talking and wouldn't be hanging around Hadrian. You would be hanging around me!" Christopher said the last part with a smile.

For the first time in Hermione's life, considering she hangs out with Hadrian on a daily basis, her palm met her face in frustration; remembering in vivid detail how Christopher laughed along with Ron when he made fun of her, calling her a nightmare.

Christopher grabbed her other hand and positioned her so she could look into his eyes, with a look of sadness he continued his speech. "We need to get you away from Hadrian, the only way for you to trust me is for me to apologies to you for what I did to you. It's clear to me that the only reason you are not talking to me is because you are traumatized. If I had just saved you from the troll, you wouldn't have to be associated with Hadrian and you could avoid him like the rest of us. You don't have to lie to me, I know the only reason you hang around Hadrian is that he appreciates your brains, but he's just using you. That's what dark lords do."

As Christopher continued his speech the twitching of Hermione's eye increased and the sparks from her wand glowed brighter. All this went completely unnoticed by the two boys.

"You have to talk to me so I can help you, I need to know what you need me to do to help you."

Hermione's eyes narrowed and Ron backed up a bit.

"Mate, she needs you to back up… slowly."

Ron, still keeping his distance, leaned forward a little as if listening to Hermione.

Christopher couldn't help but notice the change around him, it felt like the air became heavier, like the whole cabin was being flooded by water.

"She's saying," Ron started, "that you are an egotistical moron, who thinks the world revolves around himself. I have no idea where you got the idea that you were supposed to save me and I recommend that you let go of me before I cut your hands off."

"Ron!" Christopher said in shock, as he stared at his best friend.

"What!? She said it!" Ron defended.

"What do you mean she said it!? Her lips didn't even move!" Christopher yelled.

"Come on mate, don't look at me like I'm crazy. Don't you hear her?"

"Hear what!?" Christopher shouted, letting go of Hermione focusing his full attention on Ron.

Ron's face turned Weasley red as he came toe to toe with Christopher Potter and shouted. "Just listen to her! It's not my fault that you don't know how to take advice from other people!"

Christopher rubbed his forehead in annoyance. His only thought was that he didn't have time for this. Not now! This was his chance to make things right and Ron wasn't helping. If he lost this chance then he didn't know when he would be able to find Hermione alone again. Hadrian rarely allows her to wonder the corridors alone. Completely forgetting that Hermione was actually a Gryffindor. Then again he never was a morning person, always missing her as she left the common room at the earliest convenience.

At this point students started to make their way out of their compartments to stare at the spectacle. If you observed the situation you could see the first years peering out of their cabins only to duck back at the sight of Hermione's hair bellowing, her eyes burning and her wand glowing with magical energy fuelled by pure anger at her current predicament.

Prefects, who were already convincing the first years of the threat of the **Dark Lord** and **Dark Lady,** now had justifications to their words.

Ron and Christopher continued arguing not noticing their surroundings. Students, who were brave enough, continued watching the bickering couple and Hermione was getting more frustrated.

A Slytherin prefect came pushing down the hall, interested in what was going on. Surveying the situation she wondered if it was even worth stepping in to stop their argument. It wouldn't be the first time seeing them bickering like an old married couple, however she reconsidered when she saw a bright light hitting the ceiling of the compartment making a bang so loud that everyone in the compartment covered their ears.

"What was that for?" yelled Christopher.

Hermione's eyes narrowed, her wand still pointing at Christopher's chest.

Ron's voice broke the silence. "She's saying she's sick and tired of the wizarding world and if she had to depend on an idiot like you to be the hero and save her life she'd rather be a muggle, at least they don't pull such asinine stunts like this! It don't even make any damn sense!"

While Ron was talking you could see the heads of those who had a better view move back and forth trying to see when Hermione's lips moved.

Christopher's face turning red with irritation once again turned to Hermione "Damn it Herms! Why don't you just talk to me!?"

Christopher was tired of this woe is me attitude and was determined to fix this here and now. No more ifs ands buts or excuses.

"Why won't you talk to me? We all know nothing is wrong with you. Are you just doing this to get attention?"

Hermione, glaring at Christopher in a way that would make Snape proud and even award points, took a step forward, her magic still cascading in waves off of her.

Ron began to talk again. "This has nothing to do with you, however I can say with the utmost confidence that people like you cause me to lose faith in humanity. You are trying to make me leave the one friend I have ever had to hang out with some narcissistic ass like you. No thank you. Not going to happen. You are too busy sniffing around Dumbledore's feet to even comprehend the world at the same level as me, so take your bullshit self-centered apology that doesn't even make any sense and shove it up your ass.

Ignoring Ron, Christopher looked at Hermione and demanded. "Just tell me why you won't talk!"

Ron acting as his unofficial translator started. "It's because I thought that when I got my letter that the wizarding world would be a place where I can be happy and accepted as I am, only to have not only students but this time even teachers bullying me and mine. Why should I talk with no one listening? Why should I raise my hand when nobody wants to hear my answers? If everyone's happier when I am quiet I couldn't help but realize so was I. Besides the only person who even cares doesn't even need words to understand me!"

Feeling her anger subside, Hermione looked around at the crowd they gathered. It seems like everyone in the cart came out to watch the confrontation. Not wishing to draw any more attention to herself she walked back to her compartment, splitting the gathered group like the red sea.

 **End Flashback**

Of course not ten minutes later the dementors decide to terrorize the train. Of course they would enter at the front of the train where incidentally Christopher usually sits. So the logical conclusion is that whatever Christopher said pissed off the **Dark Lady** so much that she would send her army of dementors to suck out his soul. Hadrian was conflicted, should he cry or laugh at the sheer stupidity of the wizarding populace. Naturally if the teacher's didn't dispel the rumors in second year about them being the Heirs of Slytherin then they would do absolutely nothing the quell the rumors of **Hermione The Queen of Dementors**. Well at least almost all of the bullies avoided them. So that's a good thing. With less time in detention they managed to augment their uniforms with a few (read: a lot) of runes to the point where even the crests were covered with them, it took half a year and a lot of work but in the end it was worth it. They were finally free!

No more pranks from the red menaces! No more detentions from biased teachers that believe the rumors and convict them on sheer principle! No more evil eyes from the teachers in class! Sadly Christopher Potter still managed to track them down on odd days, trying to pin something on them. How he managed that is still a mystery.

 _'_ _Meh, he must have no life.'_ thought Hadrian.

Fourth year just compounded on the good. First there was the Tri-Wizard competition where the school wanted to pin the blame of the fourth champion, namely one Christopher Potter, on Hadrian citing that he plans on getting him killed during one of the tasks. Luckily for Hadrian and Hermione the French and Bulgarians agreed with the ridiculousness of the situation, and even brought the two under their wings. Not only did they have a safe place beyond the Library in the form of the Bulgarian **ghost ship** and the French **mobile-castle** they also gained a weird type of respect from the Bulgarians for their ruthless fighting styles. Seems like Draco's attempts to give them a bad reputation backfired, while it is frowned upon to become physical in England it's encouraged in Bulgaria, so Hadrian naturally got extra points. During that year the momentum of the hate-train directed towards Hermione and Hadrian died down and everyone acted like the past 3 years didn't happen. Which is another proof to Hermione's theory that wizards don't have an ounce of common sense.

You might also want to know why Hermione is wearing a blindfold. That is because Hadrian has a surprise to show her. Hermione, already used to Hadrian trying to surprise her, resigned herself to her fate, silently vowing that if this ended like his "Romantic Moonlit Gondola Ride" then he would find himself in a world of pain.

After maneuvering through corridors, climbing moving staircases, Hadrian stopped on the seventh floor near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and removed Hermione's blindfold.

"Ta-da!" said Hadrian wile spreading his arms wide open.

Hermione, after she blinked away the spots and figured out where she was, started to glare at Hadrian.

"Now you might be thinking that I lost it completely, I mean dragging you down from the seventh floor just to drag you back up blindfolded must surely mean I'm not playing with a full deck, but I assure you I still have all my cards", with a flourish he took out a deck of playing cards, "See?".

Hermione was not amused.

"Jokes aside," Hadrian said while tossing the deck of cards away and pacing in the middle of the corridor, "I present you our Brand new Clubhouse!" With his last words a door appeared. Not even waiting for a response Hadrian dragged Hermione into the room. What she saw amazed her to no end.

"It might not be as archaic as our **Secret Chamber** but I assure you it makes up with it's cool factor! To your left is your own personal library, with work desk. All you have to do is ask for a specific book and it appears! It also has books that are not in the library." Hadrian said as he remembered reading **The Necronomicon** _'There are just some things that men are never meant to know.'_ He thought as a cold chill went down his spine. "In front of you is your own personal training area filled with all manner of equipment for your everyday training. Lastly to your right is your personal **cool off** area. Equipped with your own personal **Jacuzzi hot tub** and **72" Plasma Widescreen TV!** They haven't even invented this shit!" Hadrian said amazement apparent in his voice.

Hermione, trying to comprehend the scale what this all means, just stared at amazement.

After letting Hermione digest the information for a bit Hadrian continued, "The room configures itself to anything you need. Right now it's our clubhouse. Want it to be an Olympic sized swimming pool? You have it! It even crosses the boundaries of time and space. Want a personal tunnel to the girl's dorm in the Gryffindor common room? You have it! Besides the evidence in front of you," Hadrian pointed at the TV that should not exist, "I have even met my future self!"

Which is true, he did meet the future Hadrian Dursley of the year 1998, what he did not reveal was that Hadrian found his future counterpart as he was running through Hogwarts and that the future self revealed the existents of this room. Lastly which he will never reveal was that the future Hadrian Dursley was running and hiding from the future Hermione. What he did to piss of Hermione to warrant an escape through time he never figured out, but he vowed to do everything in his power to prevent it.

If Hadrian actually took the time to think about it he would realize that he was inside an impossible paradox, however since he didn't think about it we'll just gloss over the little details.

"Here", Hadrian declared, "not even Ron, Seamus or Dean will find you to make you do their homework! How they keep finding us I will never figure out." Hadrian grumbled under his breath. "No more gossiping girls to interrupt your studying! No more people accidentally sitting at your table while you are disillusioned! This is ours!"

Hermione, who finally finished processing this gift just started to clap. Hadrian bowed.

"Now before you sit down and lose yourself in the library, your other surprise is waiting." Hadrian said pointing at the futuristic TV set. "It'll be another hour before the show starts but until then let me give you a massage."

Hadrian stripping down naked jumped inside the hot tub. Waving Hermione to join him. Hermione, already used to his antics, banished her clothes wordlessly and stepped into the tub where she received one of the most toe curling massages that one could ask for. After an hour the TV turned on by itself showing the entrance to the Gryffindor common room and the adjoining hallway.

 _'_ _Oh my…'_ was Hermione's only thought.

.oOo.

Ron and Lavender were walking down the 7th floor corridor alongside the Gryffindor quidditch team. Officially they were doing their after curfew patrol where they ran into the team. Unofficially they were making sure that no one else ran into the team, thus avoiding anyone from the team getting detention or any other punishment. Why you might ask? Well that's simple! Since the quidditch tryouts are held on the second week of school, the first week lays unclaimable. A small loophole that McGonagall has used to schedule **Quidditch equipment maintenance**. Coincidentally the Gryffindor team are the ones who are to test said equipment. Adding to this is the fact that there is no strict school policy, or it was lost in a **filing accident** , about the correct procedure on how to test said equipment and you have a week where the Gryffindor team have free rein on the pitch. Adding insult to injury McGonagall also remarked that it would go against house loyalty for a prefect to punish anyone from the team if practice runs a **little** late.

The team members themselves were tired, muddy, cold and soaked to the bone. Sadly McGonagall for all her power can't dispel rainstorms. The only thing on the team's minds were **bed** and **hot shower** , so it took some time for the team to comprehend that they were already in front of the entrance.

George raising his head noticed Ron was frozen in place in front of the portrait hole.

"What is it Ronniekens?" said George.

"Forgot the password already?" added Fred, who was also coming out of his half sleep zombie like state.

"It's Mimbulus" started one twin.

"mimbletonia." finished the other twin.

After they waited for the obligatory five seconds to let the portrait swing open, and still not seeing anything they started to activate their higher brain functions.

The first thing that the twins realized was that not only was Ron but also Christopher staring at the portrait hole. His face warped between confusion and shock, while the rest of the team were a few seconds behind the twins in raising their heads.

Incidentally enough when the twins decided to bless the portrait of the Fat Lady a glance their expressions were also warped between shocked and confusion, for they were not staring at the caring eyes of the Fat Lady.

They were staring at the coal black eyes of Walburga Black, Matriarch of the Most Ancient and Noble house of Black, her portrait enlarged to the size of the previous' portraits, and she was smiling.

"What do we have here? Children past their curfew!? I'm pretty sure the Headmaster would love to know about your **transgressions**." The last was set with a snarl, "PORTRAITS, GHOSTS, AWAKEN AND SUMMON THE HEADMASTER AND HEADS OF HOUSE!"

The neighboring portraits were starting to rise, awoken by the louds screams.

"The password is Mimbulus mimbletonia." Lavender quickly said trying to get everyone in before the other teacher arrive. McGonagall's little loop hole might be above board but it still displeased the other head's of house and they would use any and all chances to make their displeasure known.

"The password changed." Walburga added offhandedly still a small smile playing on her face.

"I'm a prefect! Open up! I command you!" Lavender shouted, doubling her efforts.

"Who are you little girl to command me!?" The portrait said as she was leaning down, as to examine an insect.

"My name is Lavender Brown." Lavender said in a timid voice, cowed by the demeanor of the former Black Matriarch.

"Brown… Brown…" the portrait repeated tracing family tree's in her head, "ah yes! Joshua's girl." Lavender nodded. In a much nicer tone Walburga continued, "I cannot, if I did then these BLOOD TRAITERS! HALF-BREEDS! AND MUDBLOODS! would get away. Do not worry little one. Once the teacher's arrive I'll explain everything to them. You shall not be punished."

"Now wait a minute!" Christopher started but was interrupted by Walburga's screaming.

"KREACHER! KREACHER!"

A much younger and viral looking Kreacher appeared with a pop next to the portrait. Kneeling on one knee he addressed his mistress.

"Mistress calling Kreacher?"

"YES! THROW THIS ILLEGITAMATE SPAWN OF JAMES INTO A DUNGEN TO ROT! HALF-BREEDS SHOULD BE DROWNED AT BIRTH!"

"Yes mistress." Kreacher said with a nod and with a snap Christopher Potter disappeared.

Not a moment latter the sound of running footsteps could be heard coming closer to the Gryffindor common room.

"But… but…" Angelina stuttered, "The Slytherin common room is in the dungeons!"

Walburga's only reply was a small smile.

The Gryffindor gem counter went into negative that night.

.oOo.

Hermione broke out into wild uncontrolled laughter.

Hadrian was mentally doing his Happy Dance for making Hermione laugh and smile. It always makes his heart swell when he could make Hermione smile. It's even rarer to hear her doing a full belly laugh. It was hard on him seeing her brood over this year's prefects. She already knew that she wouldn't be chosen, but seeing the people who McGonagall chose just sent her over the edge. _'How in the bloody hell does somebody like Ron_ _ **WTF is homework**_ _Weasley and Lavender_ _ **I am the queen of gossip**_ _Brown become prefects!?'_

.oOo.

 **October 9 1995,**

 **Random Corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian absent mindedly headed up to the seventh floor to entertain himself in his secret clubhouse. Yesterday he made the room create a giant robot that he could pilot. He also made the cockpit into a convertible Chevrolet with flame painted on the side. After he got in he made the room expand to its upper most limit. It must have been huge because he couldn't see the ends of it. Then he created an army of enemy giant robots which he fought in an epic battle royal, colored by the music of an unseen orchestra and heavy metal. He fought for love! He fought for honor! He fought for the sheer hell of it.

He should show that to Hermione, she would get a kick out of it. Yeah… chicks dig giant robots. Thinking about Hermione he realized that he should give her a cannon. Yeah… bitches love cannons.

When he arrived at the entrance to his secret clubhouse he saw that the door was already materialized. Thinking little of it he entered expecting to find Hermione in full mad scientist regalia. What he actually found made his brain freeze. First he pinched himself, then he slapped himself. Still seeing the same as before he gave a resigned sigh.

Students lined in a row, wands aimed at dummies. Some missing some hitting. Older students helping younger ones. Students with red blue and yellow trimmed robes. An actual organized group training, led by our one and only celebrity… Christopher Potter.

 _"_ _Great…"_ Hadrian thought with a scowl, _"all good things must come to an end when other people find your secret clubhouse."_


	5. Our new NEW clubhouse!

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Recommendation** : This chapter recommends **the-boy-who-wasn't-there** by **CycoMW**

 **Summary:** Harry Potter just wanted to be left alone. What happens when his magic grants him his wish and what happens when he arrives at Hogwarts. Covers primary school and his first Year at Hogwarts. Other years to follow sometime. H/Hr.

 **A/N2: As you can see it has a similar plot device as my own story so my best guess is that if you like mine you'll also like his.**

 **Chapter 5: Our new NEW clubhouse!**

 **October 16 1995, Early morning**

 **Gryffindor Girl's dormitory, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

In the fifth years girl's dormitory you would find three beds. The bed on the far left would belong to Lavender Brown, Gryffindor's resident gossip queen. The middle bed would belong to Parvati Patil, one half of the resident Patil twins. The last bed, the one nearest to the door and bathroom belongs to our resident genius (read: mad scientist) Hermione Granger. Of course each bed and bedside table represents each girl's personality. As you might guess Parvati and Lavender, being best of friends, having similar interests make their habitats almost indistinguishable. A bottle of perfume here, a magazine there, a pair of black thong panties over there where anyone can see.

In comparison Hermione's **habitat** is completely alien. Her bedside table devoid of any items, her drawers empty and she has a runic circles surrounding her bed for protection and camouflage. The most noticeable difference between the three beds is that while the first two beds are normal four poster beds, Hermione's is quite different. On the outside it still resembles a normal bed while on the inside, with the help of space expansion and heating charms, you can find a nice comfortable king sized bed filled to the brink with small pillows where, even on the coldest winter, she could lay in her silk pajamas without a care in the world.

Here she is safe, warm and protected… At the same time an ominous form was stealthily creeping closer to Hermione, diligently making sure that its every step remained unnoticed. It jumped into the air and landed on Hermione's ass.

"Hermione wake up. Hermione wake up. Hermione wake up." it repeated enthusiastically as it used Hermione's ass as a trampoline.

Hermione let out an inaudible groan as she tossed and turned hoping to squish the annoying thing with her body. She was out of luck, as she turned around it opened its wings and took to the air.

Hermione sat up, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to come face to face with her tormenter, namely her **Valentine's Day gift**.

The small Hadrian look alike plush doll, devil wings, tail and horns included, flapped it's wings in front of her.

"Hermione wake up. Hermione wake up. Hermione wake up." the annoying thing repeated itself. Hermione idly wondered if it would keep repeating itself until the end of the world if she didn't make it stop.

Hermione pet the head of the small doll, turning off its alarm function. Her eyes followed Chibi Hadrian, the name she started calling the plush, as it descended, waited for a moment and without knowing what else to do started doing cartwheels around the bed.

In hindsight the devil's tail and horns should have been a dead giveaway about the nature of the gift.

Reading after her personal bedtime? No problem, Chibi Hadrian closes the book and sits on it.

Want to read another book when she is supposed to be asleep? No problem, Chibi Hadrian hid all the other books.

Doing research and not having three square meals a day? Again no problem, he'll make you a club sandwich and bring it to you WHEREVER you are.

Hermione broke into a huge smile just thinking about how considerate her Hadrian was to her. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

After doing her morning stretches and occlumency training she got out of her bed. Looking down she checked on her runic protection circle. Chibi Hadrian flew out of her bed and did a full circle around her bed.

"Runes are alright." the doll said after it examined to runes around her bed.

Hermione nodded and left to make herself presentable for the day. As she was occupied in the bathroom Chibi Hadrian made her bed, checked her schedule and packed her book bag. After Hermione came out Kreacher popped in with a tray of potions.

Each day Kreacher would give Hadrian and Hermione an already prepared set of flushing potions for love, loyalty and other poisons. Sadly there is no universal, highly potent all-purpose cure, and a bezoar can only take you so far in life. So she made a schedule for herself and Hadrian to be free of potions without their bodies becoming addicted.

"Kreacher brings Mistress Bella and Master James their potions." said the elf with a bow.

Hermione nodded in thanks and drunk her potion. She had already resigned herself to her new name, Mistress Bella, whoever she might be. With nothing else to do in the dorm Hermione made her way out towards the Great Hall for an early breakfast, leaving her sleeping dorm mates and a waving Chibi Hadrian behind.

.oOo.

Outside of the Gryffindor common room Walburga Black was whistling a merry tune. She was actually enjoying herself. So far her personal vendetta against all that have wronged the house of Black was going on without any problem.

The staff of Hogwarts couldn't remove her, going even so far as to plan another entrance into the Gryffindor common room just to circumvent her.

The house of Gryffindor was afraid and weary of her after she sent **unwanted** students into the dungeons.

Sirius Black was beyond pissed at her treatment of his godson and other lesser students because they need to crawl through the elf tunnels to enter the common room.

James is courting her little Bella, why she decided to color her hair brown she will never understand.

Now all that she needs to do is to make James the heir of the House of Black and she could rest in peace.

.oOo.

Hermione scanned the entrance to the Great Hall making sure that no pranks or other malicious spells were attached to it. After she was pleased with herself she entered, immediately scanning the room for any possible threats.

The room was filled with its early risers, a few students here and there. The only noticeable difference that could be remarked was a blond Ravenclaw juggling pancakes and Hadrian who was using the end of the Hufflepuff table as his personal pillow.

She gave a mental sigh. Ever since other people found out about their secret clubhouse and started to use it for their own needs Hadrian was inconsolable. In his distress he let loose his anger and frustration and went all out on pranking any and all who pissed him off, mainly Gryffindors.

In hindsight it's amazing to note that the less aggressive of the four houses to them was Slytherin.

Hopefully he'll get over it before he actually kills someone.

The moment Hermione sat down at her table a fruit bowl appeared in front of her, she gave a sad sigh, taking out an apple she started to wonder.

 _'_ _What could it be this time? Yesterday Christopher Potter found himself waking in bed next to a 7_ _th_ _year Slytherin beater. Before that a 4_ _th_ _year Hufflepuff remarked how the only way I would be able to catch a decent man if I had a bigger bust. Next day all the Hufflepuff boys found themselves equipped with a nice pair of DD breasts. That was… awkward to say the least. It seems like the girls were more pissed then the boys who rather enjoyed their new_ _ **toys**_ _.'_

 _Why can't they serve cheese pizza around here!? Stupid kitchen! Why do I have to wait for the winter break for the next cheese pizza?' Ugh!_ Hermione thought as she slammed her fist on the table. _'Wait! What? Why was I so aggressive and why am I craving a cheese pizza?'_ Hermione then immediately clutched her abdomen in pain. _'Damn. It's my period.'_

About the same time she realized her problem Chibi Hadrian flew in carrying one of Hermione's special potions for her period all while singing, "Pain pain go away. Pain pain go away. Pain pain go away."

Only after she downed her potion she realized the commotion around her.

Lavender Brown, who was still clad in her nightshirt, and other Gryffindor prefects were at McGonagall's side, engrossed in a hushed conversation. The blond Ravenclaw was scanning the Great Hall through a magnifying glass. Hadrian was awake and whistling a merry tune like he didn't have a care in the world. Also the rest of the students were already sitting at their tables not even noticing the breakfast that was in front of them. All stared at the entrance table where the Gryffindor boys who were…

.oOo.

Draco Malfoy had enough.

Contrary to popular belief Draco isn't a pureblood supremacist, nor does he push for the pureblood agenda. Sure he does **act** the part, but wouldn't you if your every move was watched and judged? It might even surprise you to know that Draco, and by extension Pansy, were quite fond of the muggle world.

It all started the day when Draco accidentally taught himself to apparate at the tender age of nine. Suddenly the entire world opened up to the young blond. Immediately, with the help of his constant companion Pansy, he started to explore the large world around him. Cinema, comic books, cheese pizza, all these and more blew the young children's minds.

Draco might be considered a mediocre student at Hogwarts but that's because his specialty lies with apparition. Without much effort he can **slide** through anti-apparition wards, double if not triple the distance any normal wizard can travel, carry more dead weight then he can imagine, even the sensation is different. One might ask if he is even apparating or doing something completely different.

Not being sheltered and learning the muggle side of the world he started to sympathize with all the muggle-borns who think the wizarding world is archaic, crude and barbaric. He even realized how constant use of magic for every little thing was making wizards lazy and retarded. The most weirdest part of all this was when he changed his life dream into becoming a Japanese chef after he read an interesting book about Buddhism. Sadly he couldn't just get up and leave.

So with the help of Pansy they came up with the simple plan of waiting it out until either Lucius dies or they can disappear into the muggle world.

As the saying goes no plan survives contact with the real world, even the most simplest ones.

At the end of his fourth year he-who-does-not-bathe decided to move in to their living room and start up the pureblood cause.

Great…

If the Dark Lord wins, then the muggle world will be destroyed.

If the Dark Lord loses, then most likely he would end up either dead or in Azkaban.

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Of course one could always become a spy for the Light…. yeah, the poster child, namely Severus Snape, all but discourages the idea.

 _'_ _Damn it! All I want to do is fuck Pansy all day and eat sushi, is that too much to ask?'_ Draco mentally screamed.

His trouble's didn't end there. Not only was he constantly brainwashed at home but now because of the Ministry and Umbridge the pureblood agenda is also being preached at Hogwarts. If Dumbledore and Christopher are the best the Light could offer then he was doomed.

The entire situation was getting to him and he was beginning to lose it. He even confide in Pansy that he was starting to hallucinate, imagining his nose fall off, his skin turn grey, his eyes turn red.

So when he entered the Great Hall to the sight of all the Gryffindor males dressed in green with jelled hair competing against one another for the position of biggest snob, all sitting at the Slytherin table he did not react like the others. He did not laugh, he did not scowl. He headed straight to the hospital wing wondering if he might not be able to ride out the war in St. Mungo's.

.oOo.

Hermione was absent mindedly walking down a corridor, grumbling to herself about finding some peace and quiet. Ever since first year the common room was out of the question, and she would always rely on Hadrian to find some random place for themselves. Sadly right now he crossed the line between **genius and insane** , to put it politely and their last hideout was compromised by the three stooges, (read: the golden trio).

Now you might think that Hermione Granger was a prim and polite person who would always be the assertive in the group, always listening to both sides of the argument and would never swear.

You never met Hermione Granger on her period.

Getting annoyed she decided to imitate Hadrian to just wing it. She ripped opened the closest door to her, throwing caution to the wind. As luck would have it she opened the door to an abandoned classroom almost devoid of any signs of life, and if the spider webs and dust were any indication than it would be for a long time.

Doing a quick Feng Shui check, she looked over the placement of the windows, amount of Sun light, available furniture. She mentally prepared herself.

She cast her standard notice-me-not and detection spells, making sure to be left alone. Closing the door behind her she threw her wand in the air. She snapped her fingers and the wand grew until it turned into a four foot battle staff that started to hover around her. Hadrian might be a powerhouse, but Hermione had her ways to catch up.

.oOo.

Hadrian was absent mindedly walking down a corridor, grumbling to himself about the next prank he should pull. He stopped, snapped his fingers and exclaimed "Riddle me this, how did the Black Lake flood the Raven tower?". He jotted down "flood Ravenclaw dorms" on his bare arm and continued walking. All day something was nagging at the back of his head, but for the life of him he couldn't put his finger on it. First he thought it was just nerves about this morning's prank, but the feeling didn't leave him after breakfast. Then he thought it was someone following him, so he spent a few hours of his day on his Firebolt keeping an eagle's eye on everyone in the castle. Still the feeling didn't leave him. Lastly he thought that it was his aggressive side wishing to crank the cruelty of his pranks up a level. Again the feeling was still there. Sighing he admitted defeat and asked "Nee, did I have anything planned for today that I forgot?". He turned his head to receive his answer only to come face to face with an empty corridor. He quickly looked left and right, panic in him rising.

"Damn!" he exclaimed "Where is Hermione!?" and with those last words Hadrian disappeared in a sprint.

.oOo.

Hadrian searched all over the castle at their usual spots the Library, Black Lake, Great Hall. After which he checked the more unusual parts of the castle like the Secret Chamber at which he smacked his hand on his forehead _'Right, Hermione can't come down here, she doesn't speak Parseltungue'._ He continued searching in the Gryffindor common room, the girls dorm, he even checked the girl's shower much to the showering girls distress.

Hadrian started to become frantic opening every door he came across, even accidentally barging into a private moment between Ron and Seamus. A few steps away from the closet his mind registered what his eyes picked up. A cold shiver went through his spine. _'Forget! Forget! Forget! Find Hermione! Find Hermione! Find Hermione!'_ He mentally repeated.

Still in a daze he came across a door that he never seen before. The words " **Omnem dimittite spem, o vos intrantes** " were written above the archway. Not knowing enough Latin to translate and hoping that Hermione was on the other side, hoping that she could obliviate the last few minutes from his mind, he entered absent mindedly destroying the wards keeping the door closed.

.oOo.

"Professor! Professor!" came the distressed voice of Parvati.

"What is it Miss Patil?" Asked Professor McGonagall.

"There was a boy in the girl's shower!"

McGonagall pursed her lips, "and who might this boy be?"

"umm…" Parvati glanced at Lavender and the other girls who were in the shower trying to remember any distinguishing feature of the boy.

"We don't know who he was." One of the girls finally answered.

"I see. Could you tell me any distinguishing features he might have?"

"umm…" the girls went back into deep thought.

"He had hair." Said Lavender.

"And eyes, he had two eyes." added Parvati.

McGonagall, not for the first time, wondered if the stress from the OWLs were starting to get to her students.

.oOo.

Hadrian walked into the room only to stop dead in his tracks. The room, which he presumed was once a classroom, was completely converted into a luxury apartment with stylish art-deco furniture. Scanning the room he found its sole occupant relaxing in the corner that held a single person tub, Hermione was relaxing in a bubble bath, her head leaned back and eyes closed, her battle staff already enlarged and hovering protectively around her.

Her feet were also receiving a pedicure by Chibi Hadrian singing "Spa day. Spa day. Spa day.".

On the nightstand next to the tub he found an all too familiar potions vile. He felt like the Hogwarts Express ran over him. He realized what he was forgetting all day. Today was the start of Hermione's period.

It was a shock to him when he first receive The Talk from Hermione to realize just how different girls are from boys, and then to experience firsthand how bipolar and aggressive she could become if not treated properly. So he vowed that from that day on he would be extra careful and extra sweet to her, so that he doesn't incur her wrath ever again.

Hermione raised her head to see what the commotion was about to see Hadrian standing in the doorway.

"I was… um you know" Hadrian stammered "I just came in to get this" he grabbed the nearest thing to him, which was Kreacher who just happened to pop in the exact same time he held his hand out. He grabbed Kreacher by his head, raising him from the floor and with a swift motion slamming him under his arms. Hadrian turned around and bolted out of the door to get out of hexing range.

.oOo.

After a day of enjoyment and solitude Hermione consciously or not started to gradually move into her new room and make it more homely. An added lounge chair here a book shelf there. All small improvements to make it the perfect home away from home.

Hadrian also started to gravitate inside, spending more and more of his free time in the room. Though he still occasionally grumbled about finding a new clubhouse. Talk about not seeing the forest from the tree. Hermione only rolled her eyes.

.oOo.

 **March 30 1996, Early morning**

 **Random Corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hermione yawned as she walked back into her secret flat. It might have almost all the necessities but she was still not comfortable, hygiene wise, to install a toilet into such a small space, so whenever the need arose she left the confinements of her cozy little home to face the harsh realities of the cold breezes of a public toilet inside an ancient castle.

 _'_ _Why don't they apply heating runes on the cubicles I will never know. Maybe I should turn one of the neighboring classrooms into a toilet? It would be an awfully spacious toilet but I did encounter weirder. At least I wouldn't be cold.'_ Hermione thought as she returned to her classroom. Whenever she left for the toilets she never bothered re-applying the locking spells. From experience she learned that it was easier to just leave the door unlocked. What could happen in thirty minutes?

Dolores Umbridge was sitting on a obsidian black throne made out of skulls and bones at the end of the room, one of Hadrian's ongoing **art** projects. Dolores was thinking how the chair would look better with elf and goblin skulls instead of human's. She looked up from her musings, scanning the nice room that she found thirty minutes ago, an excellent place to hold an impromptu meeting with likeminded individuals. She really liked the art style the room was made, so much so that after this meeting she would, with the help of another educational decree, declare this room be reserved for staff only.

The room was filled with mostly older students in green, but you could get a glimmer of blue, yellow and even red. All the students were from respectable families of course.

Draco and Pansy were sitting somewhere in the front of the assembly, clasping hands under their robes where no one could see. Pansy was musing about her latest children's book that she was writing under an anonymous pen name while Draco, after his unsuccessful attempt to become a permanent ward at St. Mungo's, was seriously contemplating the pros and cons of eloping with Pansy.

"Hem. Hem." Umbridge started "Yesterday The Ministry of Magic has declared Albus Dumbledore a fugitive and issued an arrest warrant…"

Hermione blocked out the rest of her speech, moving around the room removing her personal belongings. _"Great…"_ Hermione thought with a scowl, _"all good things must come to an end when other people find your secret flat."_

.oOo.

Omake: Kreacher and Cheese Pizza

 **Summer of 1995**

The phone rang and the receptionist picked up the phone for home orders.

"Yes. This is Boss: Café and Restaurant, how may I be of assistance?"

"Most Ancient and Noble House of Black wishes filthy muggle scum to make Cheese Pizza for Mistress Bella."

 _'_ _Great'_ the receptionist thought, he had hoped that now working for one of the most luxurious restaurants in central London that he would be able to avoid the nutters, but it seems his hopes were for naught.

"Will there be anything else?" the receptionist asked.

There was a slight pause, "Kreacher would also like Cheese Pizza."

"Then it'll be two medium sized pizzas. Address?"

"Pizza is to be delivered to The most Ancient and Noble house of Black which could be found at No. 13 Grimmauld Place."

"Will it be cash or card?"

"You is allowed to make the withdrawal from the vault of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black's Gringotts vault."

"We don't do business with Gringotts."

"Filthy muggles don't do business with filthy greedy creature goblins." Another pause, "Is yous accepting American Express?"

"We do. Thank you for your order have a nice day."

"Kreacher wishes yous to die a horrible and painful death… after yous deliver cheese pizza."


	6. Our new NEW N… just fuck it!

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Chapter 5: Our new NEW N… just fuck it!**

 **April 3 1996, Early morning**

 **Random Corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

On an early morning a plain looking blacked haired boy with the most powerful green eyes ever was leading a blindfolded plain looking brown haired girl by the hand.

The girl felt a sense of déjà vu.

After maneuvering through corridors, climbing moving staircases, entering a room marked **Hogwarts Library** and zigzagging through bookshelves they finally come to a halt. Hermione, taking a deep breath, braced herself for her second "surprise" of the year. Hadrian took the blindfold off to reveal what she had already suspected; she was inside the Hogwarts Library. However her eyes rested on a most peculiar sight that most certainly was not a part of the Hogwarts Library.

In between four intersecting paths, surrounded by bookshelves lay a dark green leather sofa decorated with silver snake motives. In front of the sofa was a dark brown table with raven markings. The table was resting on a thick and lush carpet with badgers sown into it. On the other side of the table there was a red and gold armchair.

.oOo.

 **About the same time**

 **Slytherin Common Room, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Pansy came down from the girls dorm to see Draco laying on the cold floor. She immediately rushed to his side.

"Draco! What's wrong? What are you doing on the floor!?"

Draco sat up, slowly rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Pansy? What's wrong?"

"I should be asking that!" Pansy said in annoyance. "What were you thinking laying down on the floor like that? You could have caught a cold!"

"Floor? I was laying down on the sofa."

"If you were laying down on a sofa then please enlighten me as to its whereabouts?"

Draco looked around in confusion trying to figure out what happened with the sofa he was laying on. Not for the first time he wondered when he became Fate's bitch.

.oOo.

Turning to Hadrian Hermione raised one of her eyebrows. To anyone who knows how Hermione communicates this means:

"Explain, and it better be good!"

She also raised her free hand and pointed. That other gesture changes the meaning to:

"How dare you desecrate the Holy of Holies!?"

Hadrian decided to ignore the arm gesture, and gently guided Hermione on the sofa.

"This" Hadrian started waving his free hand "is our new clubhouse! Since our… celebrity" Hadrian said in a perfect imitation of Snape's first potion class, "decided to take upon himself the task of teaching everyone Defense and commandeered our clubhouse we had nowhere to go."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Hadrian as he still didn't want to acknowledge her flat as a potential clubhouse.

"So I took it upon myself to find us another clubhouse. Sadly even after searching all rooms Hogwarts could offer I still didn't find a room worthy of our presence so I did the next best thing… I made one! This place is in the most deepest bowels of the library, next to the restricted section, under disillusionment, notice-me-not, ignore-me, anti-wizard and many more wards that it is practically impossible to find!"

He said the last part almost in a shout, which is why Madam Pince came rushing down into the middle of the library. She was staring right at them before confusion, then panic crossed her face. She shook her head in a comical fashion then left.

Hermione turned her head towards Hadrian, slowly building up her stare into a glare.

"I still didn't figure out how to incorporate silencing wards into it, so please refrain from talking to loudly." Hadrian finished ending with a lopsided grin.

Now at 100% Glare, Hermione was trying to burn a hole into Hadrian's head before giving an inaudible sigh. She cocked her head a bit trying to figure out how to categorize Hadrian's newest "surprise". After exactly 87 seconds she decided to put it in her "Romantic but awkward" file. Surprisingly that file already had 8 entries. More surprisingly there was a file next to it marked "Tried to be romantic but failed dramatically" that has 19 entries including the "Romantic Moonlit Gondola Ride".

Hermione let go of Hadrian's hand, took off her shoes, grabbed a book from her bag and laid herself on the sofa, her feet across Hadrian's lap. Hadrian just smiled.

.oOo.

 **April 10 1996, Early morning**

 **Random Corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian was laying on the sofa, his head in Hermione's lap, face towards her covered stomach. Hermione was reading one of her more interesting non-school related books (read: Housewife Porn) while with her free hand was absent mindedly massaging Hadrian's scalp.

' _Let the person suffer in Hell who designed the Hogwarts Uniform.'_ Hadrian thought. If only it was like any other British school uniform he could gently open up her front, (without her noticing of course), and steal small gentle kisses on her bare flesh in hopes of getting her in the mood and getting lucky in the library. Following that thought pattern Hadrian also blessed the person who discovered the wizard's equivalent of the pill. The thought of teen pregnancy never failed to send a shiver of fear down Hadrian's spine.

The sound of footsteps made Hadrian turn around to see who in their right mind would visit the library on Easter break, besides Hermione of course. Surprisingly it was Lavender and Parvati.

"Lav! What are we doing in the library?" came the voice of a bored Parvati.

"I hoped to find at least somebody interesting over here. Maybe overhear some gossip. Damn it! Why did all of the good people have to leave for the break?" the last was said with a long whine.

"Yeah, the only people left from our year is my sister, Su Li and Granger, even the Weasleys went home for the break! They all must want to get away from our esteemed High Inquisitor."

At that point Hadrian wondered if being too unnoticed was also a bad idea. In Hermione's case she is still seen by her dorm mates. _'Thank you for separate rooms in the Hufflepuff dorms.'_

"Granger" said Lavender with a snort. "Her parents must love that she is away for 10 months of the year. I know I would. I mean she somehow even manages to annoy me just by being in the same room!" Lavender paused. "Do you think she is already betrothed to someone?"

 _'_ _You know we stopped doing that for a while now._ ' thought Hadrian in annoyance at the level of Muggle Studies.

"Granger? Betrothed? No looks, no personality… she can't even be sold as a trophy wife. At least Millicent is loaded so the dowry is appealing."

"Well Krum found her appealing." said Parvati.

"And you know how that ended", drawled Lavender, "she just stared at him for ten full minutes before running away."

Hadrian bit on his tongue at that memory.

 **Flashback**

"You go to Ball with me!?" came the half questioning, half commanding voice of a thick accented Viktor Krum.

Hermione, as a coiled snake ready to strike, slowly raised her head at the intruder to her sacred domain.

Viktor, believing that she didn't hear him repeated his invitation. "You Hermi-ne-ne Granger. You pretty girl with no boyfriend. I wish you to go to the ball with me!?"

Said non-existent boyfriend was sitting right next to Hermione disillusioned, augmenting Hermione's school robes. Hadrian stopped what he was doing to examined Viktor from top to bottom, evaluating his options.

a) Do nothing and see how it all plays out

b) Gently fade in and explain to Viktor, in a civil tone of course, that Hermione is already taken

c) Hex him until he can barely stand

d) Right hook to the nose, left knee to the groin

He was leaning towards the last two options. Then he realized that Hermione also had a say in this, even though he is more than sure he knew her answer already. He turned his head to face Hermione to get a shock. Hermione's hair was actually starting to come alive from all the magic she is trying to hold back. He could actually FEEL the hate rolling off of her. He could also imagine the mental rant she is going through starting with "I am not someone's property to do as they wish" and ending with "equal rights to all sentient beings".

Hadrian, slowly packed Hermione's stuff in her bag, grabbed her hand to lead her to the nearest broom closet to calm her down.

 **End flashback**

"In the end she did manage to come with a date" added Parvati

"She came with a Slytherin! You know that long black haired boy. She even dressed in emerald green for Merlin's sake! She has absolutely no house loyalty! " screamed Lavender.

 _'_ _Slytherin!?' She went with ME! Just because I wore dark emerald robes with silver trimming does not make me a Slytherin!_

"At least it didn't last", started Parvati "after the meal they just disappeared."

"The boy, what was his name? Harry? Well he did have a lot of hair, must have come to his senses and left. How can anyone like such a prude?" Lavender ended with a giggle

 **Flashback**

Hadrian was, in a word, amazed when he saw Hermione walking towards him. She was beautiful, amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, pretty and cute all in one. She was wearing a pretty simple emerald green empire style gown, with a similar dark green shawl around her. Most interestingly enough around her neck was a bejeweled necklace adorned with a familiar blood red stone which Hadrian **found** in his first year. Before she could stand next to Hadrian, he lowered himself to one knee and offered her a tiara for his **princess**.

Hermione's lips curled into a smile before heading into the repurposed Great Hall. She was led beyond all the tables for the **common folk** to a separate table where the Headmaster's usual throne like seat was located, enlarged to seat two people.

No one noticed that the Headmaster was sitting on the sorting stool.

"Normal tables and chairs just will not do justice for someone like you, My Princess"

As they took their seat she wondered if this was all to his surprise. Just then a dazed looking Ron Weasley, fully outfitted in a butler's uniform, brought a plate of finger sandwiches. With an oxford accent he asked, "Will that be all M'lord?"

"That will be all, James. You may return to your broom closet."

This time Hermione forcefully turned Hadrian's head to meet her eyes.

"I swear I did not use the Imperius curse on him. However I don't swear I didn't find an old sixth year potion textbook, where in its margins, I found a detailed instructions of a potion that has similar effects. Weirdly enough the person under the potion only responds to the name James."

After a light meal and the evening's entertainment, watching Christopher trying to dance with Susan Bones, they left the Great Hall.

They danced under the glow of a full Moon inside the blooming courtyard, warded from anyone that would disturb them, ending their night by sleeping in each other's nude embrace on the warm grass. That night Hadrian got lucky for the very first time.

You see, Hadrian realized something. Hermione is a shy and introverted person, thus it is hard for her to show public affection. So Hadrian just removed the public from public affection. The end result is a very affectionate and passionate Hermione Granger. There is of course the side effect of a very happy and **grinning like a loon** Hadrian Dursley.

 **End flashback**

As Hadrian returned from daydreaming about the past he could only snicker. _'Nope, Hermione Granger is certainly not a prude. She also has a good fashion sense when it comes to undergarments'_

"Do you think she is a witche's witch?" asked Parvati.

 _'_ _Pain'_ that was all that Hadrian could think of. He quickly started to bite his tongue to not scream and reveal their position to the two gossipers.

"Maybe she is even asexual."

 _'_ _More pain'_

"What's that?" asked Parvati.

"It's when the equipment is malfunctioning." Lavender said pointing to her head, "so she is never horny. Never has any sexual feelings or desires. Hey Parv, I have an idea! Let's mix a lust potion in Grangers drink and lock her in a broom closet with Su Li. If they get together after then we'll know which it is."

"I never knew Su was a witche's…"

"AAAAAAAA" came the scream out of nowhere frightening the two girls into running out of the library.

Hadrian, who fell of the sofa, was staring back at Hermione. A lone tear escaping his eyes as he stared at the bundle of hair in Hermione's hand that she ripped out in pure anger.

.oOo.

Harry ran up the stairs, dashing through the throngs of people, bumping into every one of them but still not caring the slightest. He slowed down near the library only because it would be faster to walk in silence then to win an argument against Madam Pince.

He walked, almost skipped to his new clubhouse where Hermione was already reading a book. Plopping down right next to her, he turned his head to face her with a Cheshire grin. He held up an envelope.

"I got mail! I got mail! I got mail!" Hadrian sing-songed.

Seeing as how Hadrian's only letter in his life was his Hogwarts acceptance letter, you might understand why he is acting like a little kid on a sugar high.

"It's from Gabby!" Hadrian announced with glee.

Gabrielle Delacour was supposed to be Fleur Delacour's hostage for the Second Task. Supposed to be because Hadrian and Hermione accidentally kidnapped her. On the eve of the Second Task while Fleur was meeting with the other champions in the castle; Little Gabby decided to sneak out to find her sister. Somewhere along the way she got lost. Gabrielle, not knowing English and Hogwarts students not knowing French, started to tear up.

Lucky for her there were two people currently engaged in extracurricular studies behind her (read: trying to make out) who graciously offered their assistance (read: Gabby clunged to Hadrian like her life was on the line). Not knowing what else to do Hadrian and Hermione led her away to calm down. While all this was taking place the Headmaster was trying to find her with no success, not knowing what else to do Dumbledore picked Roger Davies as Fleur's hostage. Another interesting side effect was Gabby proclaiming Hadrian to be her prince charming who will one day marry her and take her away to a magical palace, namely her home in France.

Hermione needed to bite down on her tongue to restrain her laughter.

Hadrian in his excitement ripped open the envelope letting two pieces of parchment flutter out. Hadrian grabbed one while Hermione grabbed the other.

The next five seconds were interesting to say the least…

In the first second Hermione grabbed the parchment and brought it in front of her face.

In the second second Hermione read the entire page, recognizing it to be a marriage contract between Gabrielle Delacour and Hadrian Vernon Dursley.

In the third second, in what would be Hermione's very first controlled wandless magic, she incinerated the parchment.

In the fourth second, Hermione wandlessly banished the ashes to the four corners of the Earth.

In the fifth second, with her staff already enlarged, (it takes three seconds for the staff to enlarge) she cast the most powerful owl redirect ward she could on Hadrian stopping any and all owls from nearing him for some time.

Hadrian, who didn't notice anything that Hermione did in the past 5 seconds turned around to face her, showing Little Gabby's painting that she sent in the letter only to come face to face with Hermione's staff an inch from his face.

Hadrian sighed, "What did I do this time?"

Hermione just blinked.

.oOo.

In what seems to be a regular occurrence Hadrian was joyfully hopping towards the library with a bowl of popcorn in his hands. As he entered through the doors he almost collided with Ginny Weasley who was holding the book **Most Potent Potions** , muttering to herself about "upping the dosage" and "finally seeing results". Hadrian not caring and not wanting to miss a minute of his entertainment side stepped the redhead and headed in for a front row seat.

During his walk towards the kitchen Hadrian overheard some students speaking about Cristopher's love life. Hadrian being a teenager himself couldn't help himself and spied on the conversation. What he heard made his day. He rushed down to the kitchen to get some appropriate snacks and rushed back for the entertainment.

Once in his comfy sofa, he checked his nonexistent watch to make sure he was on time. He really couldn't believe his luck. Christopher Potter was in trouble and for once Hadrian could swear with absolute certainty that he had nothing to do with this. Not only that but Hadrian could watch the drama unfold all from the comfort of his home, **sorta**.

At the promised time Christopher arrived and placed up a cone of silence. Not seeing his beloved he started to shuffle his feet, moving his weight from one foot to another, examine his shirt. All small things to pass the time.

 _'_ _Cue heartbroken girlfriend.'_ thought Hadrian.

At the exact same moment a red eyed, tear stricken Susan Bones walked in escorted by her best friend Hannah Abbott. Christopher looked up, revealing his black eye.

 _'_ _Hmm.. playing for sympathy eh…'_ Hadrian mentally commented.

"Chris… what happened?" asked Susan.

"Seems like you weren't the only one who was displeased in finding me together with Ginny in the broom cupboard." Christopher gave a deep sigh, "Never knew Ron had a mean left hook."

 _'_ _I see, I see. I also see that you didn't explicitly state how the two incidents were connected. Any bets on Chris asking Ron to deck him to play up the sympathy with Susan? Any bets on it actually working?'_

Susan made a step forward, holding his arms up to envelope Chris but by the second step she started to openly cry. Before Chris could comfort Susan, Hanna rushed to Susan's side shooting dirty glares at Chris.

 _'_ _I find it most fascinating that when girls are talking about their own love lives their IQ drops by 50 points but when it comes to other people's love life's they are sharp as a whip and more accurate than any lie detector.'_

"I am sorry Susan. I don't know what came over me. I… I just felt like there was a monster clawing in my stomach wishing to come out, and when I saw Ginny with Dean… I… I don't know what happened."

"You kissed her! Took her to a broom cupboard and had your wicked way with her until Dean found you that's what happened!" hissed Hanna.

"Why?" Susan croaked, "I thought we had something, something special just between the two of us."

"I don't… I don't know. I just lost all control."

"So one moment you are in love with Susan the next you are jealous of Dean for being with Ginny. Is that it?" inquired Hanna.

"Yes."

"And you felt like you had no control? Like there was a monster inside you that wants to be set free?" continued Hanna.

"Yes!" replied Christopher, happy that the girl was seeing eye to eye with him.

"I find that strange Chris, because those are the symptoms of a love potion. Maybe even Amertentia, but you know what I find even more strange?"

Chris looked at Hanna, puzzled as to what the girl was hinting at while Susan had a hopeful look on her face.

"That in fourth year DADA when Moody tried to put you under the Imperius Curse and failed you bragged to all of the year that you were not only immune to the Imperius Curse but also almost all mind altering potions and spells… especially Amortentia!"

"I…"

"Did you or did you not use the words **Any future Mrs. Potter is safe in the knowledge that no Veela nor ambitious potion's mistress can turn you away from your true love?** "

"What I meant was…."

"Yes or No. It is that simple."

"Yes." Admitted Christopher.

"So you are a LIAR! Did you lie about being immune and are under the effects of a love potion? Did you lie and try to convince Susan that you are under a love potion as an excuse after being found together with your Mistress? Which is it? If you already lied about this what other things have you lied about?"

 _'_ _For the female of the species is more deadlier then the male._ ' was the thought that was running through Hadrian's mind. Not that this was the first time that he came to this conclusion; he is involved with Hermione after all.

The color from Christopher's face disappeared as well as the hope in Susan's eyes.

"Why?" asked Susan this time more forceful with a hint of steel in her voice.

"Yes why." Continued Hanna in a mocking tone.

 _'_ _You lie once you lie all the time… I wonder if there is any way that this might become any worse…'_ Hadrian commented, thoroughly enjoying this moment in his life.

"Susan…" Hanna said in a small voice.

Susan turned towards Hanna, all her focus on her best female friend.

"I didn't want to say but… I think I might know something, I just didn't want to bring it up because…"

"I don't even care if it's gossip Hannah," replied Susan. "it's worth to me more than the words of The Boy-Who-Lived."

"It's just that you know my father works for the ministry with the goblins and he heard…" Hannah gulped, "You know that Arthur Weasley couldn't be granted access to the main Potter vaults just the trust vault and some other vault, 687 I think… Rumor has it that they blew through both vaults already and Arthur with Dumbledore were trying to get to the main vaults, unsuccessfully I might add."

Susan raised an eyebrow. "Why? I mean… the Weasley family is pretty big but, Chris should be 17 in a year so that shouldn't cause a problem unless…" Susan met Hannah's eyes. "There is a problem with the inheritance…"

"Dad told me that based on an old goblin law Christopher isn't the main beneficiary and if they can't find him they'll just lock down the vaults until he or one of his descendants could be found."

Susan looked at Christopher who was equally confused about the news.

 _'_ _Either he's a good actor or he has no idea what's going on. Knowing Dumbledore and Molly I'm placing my money on the latter.'_

The answer finally hit Susan like a bludger and this time her face drained of all of its color.

After centering herself she rounded on Christopher. "Bastard! Gigolo! Gold digger! All you wanted from me was my money! Did you want my Wizangamot seats as well? Hm!? Did you even plan on me having an accident after our child was born? I can't ever recall us talking about long term plans… I wonder why was that!?" Susan was yelling at the end. Her image of the boy savior thoroughly destroyed only to be replaced by a greedy, lying petty boy.

"No! Wait! You have it all wrong." Christopher said, trying to be heard.

Susan completely ignoring the boy took a deep breath, rounded on Hannah.

"And you! Why?"

Hannah looked surprised at this. "Why what?"

Susan walked towards Hannah, grabbing her hands, "You foolish little girl, why didn't you tell me about all of this sooner." Susan asked in her kindest voice.

"It was… I just…" Hannah blushed and stuttered, "all I wanted was to see you happy and they were just rumors. I… I didn't want to ruin your happiness."

"Stupid little girl." Susan said as she leaned in and kissed Hannah full on the mouth. Hannah first shocked but then closed her eyes and melded into Susan's embrace.

Christopher, on the other hand, collapsed on his knee's his world destroyed in under a day.

Hadrian, a tear sliding down his face, stood up and clapped.


	7. Chibi power he knows not

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Chapter 6: Chibi power he knows not**

 **Jun 5 1996, Early evening, After the last OWL, Hogwarts**

 **Near the Black Lake, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian's knees were shaking. He was staring into the brown eyes of Hermione next to the Black Lake. Hermione was about to reassure Hadrian that he did well on his OWLs before Hadrian interrupted her.

"It has nothing to do with the tests. I'm pretty sure we did very well. It's just… these past few months with all the career counselling I was thinking about the future and what I actually want out of life."

He stared at Hermione.

"I came to the conclusion that I want you. In all my daydreams you were always there. Either as someone I work with or" he took a deep breath, "as the mother of our children. What I want to say is. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

Hadrian bent down on one knee and took a small velvet box out from his robe pocket.

Hermione's face broke out into a small smile before she forced it down, concern covering her face. Hadrian, staring at her face, realized what was going through her mind and decided to immediately end her train of thought.

"No! I do not want any other. There is no "better" person out there for me. You are perfect for me. You are NOT a broken person. Even if you never say a word until the day we die, if you never kiss me in public I will never look at another! I love you with all my heart."

Hermione, speaking for the first time that year, said with a tear stricken face, her voice hoarse from lack of use, "I love you too."

They melted into each other's embrace, throwing up notice-me-not charms and exchanging passionate kisses late into the night.

A few hours later a pair of well rested teens, one with a small jeweled engagement ring on her finger, were walking near the forest. They heard a small disturbance coming from it. Taking out their wands they scanned for danger. They gazed upward and they saw… they saw Christopher Potter… riding… on thin air… gently ascending into the sky. Then they saw a pair of red headed teens, Ron and Ginny… riding… on thin air… gently ascending into the sky. They kept staring as a few other people joined them. Watching as they all flew away… on nothing.

They were so deep in their thoughts, trying to figure out how a few mediocre teens could just fly away on nothing, that they did not notice the exchanging spell fire coming from the school. Nor the small skirmishes littering the halls between the Inquisitorial Squad and members from Dumbledore's Army.

.oOo.

Clap clap.

"Wards Off", said a voice in a cheery manner

.oOo.

 **Sometime later….**

 **In front of the Headmaster's office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian, after recovering from what he believed was a psychotic hallucinogenic episode, was arguing with the stone gargoyle while waiting for Hermione.

"…so you see, we both come out on top. I get to go inside the Headmaster's office and I'll put you out on a full Moon to get some fresh air, you might even be able to transform into a real gargoyle." Hadrian ended his argument.

The gargoyle just sat there, unresponsive.

"Alright, I can see your dedication, but let us make something clear. Out of the two of us I have a power you know not, so if you don't want to experience it I strongly suggest you STEP ASIDE NOW."

The gargoyle continued sitting in its place like a pile of rocks.

Hadrian lost his temper and punched the gargoyle in a fit of rage releasing his frustration with his magic. The gargoyle was obliterated while the subsequent tremors could be felt in the headmaster's office. With the path now clear Hadrian smiled.

About the same time Hermione entered the hallway with a vile to collect phoenix tears. Hadrian was especially proud of himself, not only did he successfully managed to ask the girl of his (wet)dreams to marry him but he also found a book with which he could form a soul-bond with her.

 **Flashback**

Hadrian was lazily lying on his sofa in the library, drifting in and out of sleep, when a loud THUMP awakened him. He looked around and found a large stack of books appear on the table next to him. Not having anything better to do he took the first book from the pile and glanced at the title, **Soul-Bonds and how to make them**. His interests peaked, Hadrian opened to the first chapter disregarding all the other books on the pile which were all related to soul magic and Necromancy.

 _'_ _Want your fairy tale to become reality? Tired of daydreaming about romance with a soul-bounded partner? If so then you are in luck! With three easy steps you can have that and more! No fate's intervention or divine plan needed! All you have to do is…'_

Hadrian being so enthralled in his reading didn't notice Chibi Hadrian add another, bigger, pile of books on the table.

 **End Flashback**

By the time Hadrian finished his flashback Hermione arrived next to him. Without even stopping to examine the carnage she walked past the scene like it was an everyday occurrence, because it was, giving Hadrian a look of blatant annoyance.

"Hey!" Hadrian exclaimed, "What I do?". Without even waiting for a response Hadrian followed his future wife closely examining her long coppery brown hair that went past her shoulders, down her back and ended covering her rear.

Before they reached the door they both stopped at the sound of an all too familiar voice.

"Steal the tears. Steal the tears. Steal the tears." Came the voice of Chibi Hadrian, flying past them with his own vile filled with a clear liquid. What was even more strange was that his face was hidden with your typical robber's mask. Before they could even comprehend what they saw, the little devil did a quick 180 and flew directly to Hermione, plucking a hair from the roots.

Hermione's silent _'Oww'_ was followed by "Snatch her hair. Snatch her hair. Snatch her hair."

The two teens shared a silent conversation between them wondering just how smart Chibi Hadrian actually was.

As they both entered the Headmaster's office Hermione quickly made her way to Fawks with her copy of **Phoenix to Human and Human to Phoenix** dictionary to ask Fawks politely for a tear. Hadrian on the other hand took in the entire room admiring his handiwork. In short the room was completely trashed. Books were flung off of shelves, glass do-dags were broken, the wall cracked.

He let out a silent whistle, vowing that from now on he will keep his power in check less he brings down the roof.

On the other side of the room Christopher Potter and Albus Dumbledore were in the middle of a heated discussion, not even noticing the breaking and entry that was happening around them.

Dumbledore was staring at Christopher, his eyes wide in shock still trying to comprehend what just happened. He had, a few minutes ago, informed young Mr. Potter about his prior knowledge of the prophecy when he was cut off. Christopher then accused him of endangering the lives of his friends and god father, who was seriously injured at the battle, when he suddenly fell silent. Not a minute later the room exploded, no doubt Christopher Potter's anger manifested in a bout of accidental magic. So far he could cope with that. He then checked his wards to the office, gargoyle and portraits. All of them were gone. Not damaged, nor destroyed but simply gone. Like someone flipped a switch. The gargoyle did not respond to him, the portraits became still. Hell! If he didn't pay attention someone might even walk into his office without his knowledge. Returning his thoughts on the child in front of him, believing that he had just witnessed the power he knows not of which the prophecy speaks of, he decided that it was time to show him the prophecy.

Hadrian was bored. He thought the Headmaster's office would hold more interesting items that he could snatch, sadly the room was in disarray and all the valuable stuff was either out of sight or already broken. To his left Hermione was still talking, or crowing, to Fawks while the Headmaster was having a father-son moment. Really he should have visited the office earlier. Now that he thinks about it he usually is gone in May of almost every year.

In first year he took a broom to the Ministry.

In second year he was kicked off by the board of governors.

In third year… oh, what's that?

Hadrian trailed off when he saw Dumbledore placing a large bowl on his table. It even had the Potter family crest on it. Now that he thought about it a few items in the office had the Potter family crest. He must have been real friends with Christopher's parents when they were alive.

"Hey hey, Hermione! Look at this. There is a 3D image of Trelawney on the table. She's even moving. My god! Wizards invented holograms!" Hadrian exclaimed.

Hermione just grunted, keeping her focus on Fawks and her dictionary.

 _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches..._

"Oh yeah, this already sounds interesting…"

 _born to those who have thrice defied him,_

"…eh? What?" Hadrian blinked.

 _born as the seventh month dies…_

"I don't have enough IQ points to decode this. Hermione can I borrow your brain?"

 _and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal,_

Hadrian blinked, slowly in disbelief.

 _but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…_

"Okay somebody is lying."

 _and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…_

"So you think he's up for it? Personally my bet is on the Dark Lord."

 _the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.…_

"Do you think Trelawney made this up just to get a job?", Hadrian trailed off, deep in thought.

Hermione, not really paying attention to the events around her, smiled as she corked a vile of phoenix tears. Turning back to Fawks she thanked him in phoenix. Still not really paying attention she grabbed Hadrian's arm and started to drag him out of the office.

About the same time as the two interlopers exited the Headmaster's office said Headmaster turned to Christopher.

"Dear boy, do it again."

"Do what again sir?", Christopher asked in confusion.

"Dear boy, just look around yourself", Dumbledore waved his hand around presenting his office.

Christopher, suffering from tunnel vision from the time he entered into the Headmaster's office, took his time to look around at the devastation that he apparently caused.

"I… I did all of this?", Christopher said in disbelief.

With a huge smile Dumbledore answered him, "This and much more, you might not feel it but all the wards are down. All the paintings are still. It is like you deactivated all of the ambient magic inside this room. This is the power the dark lord knows not! Can you see why I have acted the way I have for such a long time? Why I have let you face all your challenges alone? Why I have let the school think you a hero one year and a villain the next? It was all for this moment! Now my Chosen One, feel what you have felt before and grasp it with two hands!"

And so Christopher did as he was told. He tried to remember the exact feeling he had when entering the office. He concentrated on that one feeling. Concentrated so hard that his face was starting to redden.

.oOo.

 **Sometime later….**

 **In a random corridor, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Chibi Hadrian was flying through the school down into the Secret Chamber when he suddenly stopped. He felt like he was forgetting something **very** important. Lazily gliding in an eight pattern he started to think. Finally he remembered and clapped.

Clap clap.

"Wards On", he said in a cheery manner, happy that he remembered.

On a not-related matter at the exact moment when Chibi Hadrian remembered to turn on the wards a smile grew on the Headmaster's face, while Christopher's face was turning blue.

In the exact corridor where Chibi Hadrian was two teens passed him, not noticing his happiness at remembering something important.

Hermione was in her happy place for acquiring all the ingredients needed. Today was just one consistent stream of pleasant occurrences. First she finished her last exam. Later her best friend, lover and much more proposed to her. To her! If she were honest she should have seen this plot a mile away but it's so much different when it actually happens to you. Not only that but he actually managed to find a rare book about how to artificially manufacture a soul-bond, a link to connect them together for all eternity, able to feel each other's emotions over insurmountable distances and other stuff… the book wasn't too clear on the finer details but the most important part was that a soul-bond qualifies as a valid marriage so the all mighty Ministry of Magic can screw themselves. All that's left is the muggle side of the coin. _'I wonder how old you need to be to get married at Gretna Green.'_

Her musings were cut short when her Hadrian senses started to tickle. She turned to face him at the speed of sound, releasing a shockwave that broke every window in the corridor. She scanned Hadrian from top to bottom, He was smiling his crooked smile at a 67 degree angle, which means he stole something AGAIN. He was also whistling the theme to The good the bad and the ugly, which means he stole something that he considered very valuable.

Hermione sighed and put her empty hand out.

Hadrian, not even showing an ounce of shame instead beaming with pride took his hands from behind his back showing Hermione and empty bowl in one hand a few viles filled with something in his other.

"I stole the Headmaster's porn collection!", Hadrian exclaimed in glee.

What?

 _'_ _What!?'_

"What!?"

.oOo.

 **A few days later….**

 **Kitchens, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

A few days later Hadrian was sitting inside the kitchens wishing to kill someone. He was suffering from stomach cramps… which were the results of Hermione's period… that he could feel over his soul-bond.

 _'_ _Great, just great',_ Hadrian thought, _'It's just typical of my luck. Hermione's period starts the exact moment when I wanted my honeymoon to start.'_ Hadrian sighed, _'Hopefully it will end before we leave the school.'_

Looking up, Hadrian saw the elfs had left a Daily Prophet in front of him. The title article caught his attention. He read the entire article from back to front, twice. Frowning he put the paper down staring off in the distance at something that wasn't there.

The article detailed that the Great Christopher Charles Potter, The Chosen One, flew from Hogwarts to the Ministry of Magic on thestrals (because why use the floo from The Three Broomsticks?) to reveal the return of the Dark Lord.

Hadrian just shook his head. The only thing he could think of is that some people have too much free time on their hands before returning to his notes on stealing the entire school from under the eyes of the headmaster.

.oOo.

 **At around the same time….**

 **Unplottable location**

Chibi Hadrian flew over the complicated runes painted on the floor, a small replica doll of Hermione placed in the middle.

Chibi Hadrian smiled a smile that no puppet should be able to smile before taking out his wand and started chanting.

V'hu-ehn n'kgnath fha'gnu n'aem'nh.

V'glyzz k'fungn cylth-a v'el cylth-Cthulhu k'fungn'i.

I'a ry'gzengrho.

I'a Hydra.

Suddenly Chibi Hermione rose up in the air releasing an other-worldly scream, her aura visible and pulsing with uncontrollable magic.

Chibi Hadrian's wand slipped from his finger in awe; then in a Californian accent muttered, "This wasn't supposed to happen".

Regaining his bearings he quickly opened a book titled **Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth** game guide to see just how badly he screwed up with the ritual.

.oOo.

Omake: Kreacher and Pepperoni Pizza

 **Summer of 1995**

Hermione was lazily lounging on a sofa at No. 13 only clothed in a bathrobe. A book was propped up on her lap, her hand absent mindedly flipping the pages. Hermione was enjoying life to its fullest.

Ever since she decided to ditch her sperm and egg donors AKA her 'parents' her options became limitless. She was finally free to do what she wanted to do. No more listening to her father mocking how his daughter was wasting her time in learning something that wouldn't be useful in the real world. She didn't have to endure her mother's stares as she wondered just where she had gone wrong in giving birth to a witch and the best of all she didn't have to hear the chorus of "Put some clothes on young lady!". Hermione Granger, to everyone's surprise was a nudist. Hadrian, after learning this fact decided to embrace her lover's lifestyle without any hesitation.

Life was definitely good. Now if only their neighbors at No. 12 would learn to shut up. Really it's like a pack of circus chimpanzees were living there… or wizards.

Hermione heard movement from the hallways and turned her head to see Kreacher with a cellphone. She didn't know at which she should have been more surprised. That Kreacher actually knew how to use a cellphone or that he was actually sounding polite… while ordering a pizza.

Hermione just kept her eyes at Kreacher. Kreacher who had already learned her Mistress' Bella's new way of communicating answered her silent question.

"I is ordering Pepperoni pizza."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, looking left then looking right silently asking for whom the elf was ordering pizza. It wasn't her time of the month and it wasn't cheese.

"Kreacher is ordering for Kreacher's guest."

With a look of confusion Hermione kept staring at Kreacher wondering just who in the world this guest was until she finally connected all the clues. With a convoluted mixture of facial gestures she conveyed:

"You do know that you do not have to order for any random Guest that asks you for a pizza, right?"

Kreacher threw down the phone "You tell Kreacher to be nice to filthy muggles. Kreacher nice to filthy muggles. Now Mistress Bella doesn't allow for Kreacher to order filthy pizza for filthy muggle. Kreacher is so confused!"

 **A/N: This omake is dedicated to Guest of who reviewed Chapter 6 on Oct 27 2015**


	8. Operation GHOAT pt 1

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…**

 **Chapter 7: Operation G.H.O.A.T. pt. 1**

 **July 1** **st** **1996, Early morning,**

 **Basement, No. 13 Grimmauld Place**

Inside the basement of the newly minted Dursley family, hidden by the shadows of a dark corner two plush like dolls were in the middle of their secret meeting.

The male plush had bat like wings, devil like horns and tail. All that was missing to be the typical devil that the comic books portrayed was a pitchfork. It's appearance was a reflection of his, and in turn his master's personality; smart, sly and cunning.

He was leaning on to a doll sized teacher's desk, behind him a small doll sized black board where a stick man was drawn. In front of him, sitting behind a doll sized school desk was the other chibi, the female one.

She, like the male one, bore a cartoonish resemblance to her human size counterpart Hermione Dursley née Granger. She, contrary to the male one, had angel white feather wings, no tails nor horn. Her face was the picture of pure innocence. "Chibi?", she asked.

Chibi Hadrian was in the middle of teaching Chibi Hermione the way she could locate her counterparts magical core.

"Track the core. Track the core. Track the core.", said the doll size replica of Hadrian.

"Chibi.", nodded with affirmation the other doll.

Chibi Hadrian's eye ticked in annoyance, for some yet unexplained reason Chibi Hermione can only say **chibi**. Absent mindedly he wondered if he didn't summon a Pokémon by accident. That was the last time he would use a ritual from **The Necronomicon**. Which did remind him… where did he leave the book. _'Oh well it will turn up eventually'_ , he thought.

 **Exact same time,**

 **At the current location of The Necronomicon**

"The horror! The horror" , the man screamed.

"Get it off me, please for the love of all that is holy get if off me.", the other yelled.

"Mommy…", whimpered the third as he held a gun to the side of his head, hoping that he could end his life before the monster would get him.

.oOo.

 **Sometime later,**

 **Living room No. 13 Grimmauld Place**

Hadrian was sitting in the living room of his house annoyed and irritated. Hadrian was the type of person who would pass over all the positive in his life and dwell on the negative. Sure he had a kinky wife with the body of a super model, the normal kind not the ones that look like they have anorexia, sleeping peacefully inside their bedroom after another night filled with screaming orgasms. Sure he was clad only in a pair of boxers with a dozen sexual poses, all crossed out with marker, signifying that he already done that. Still he could only think about the negative, namely that he had concocted the Perfect Plan, written with capital letters, to steal Hogwarts and he needed to wait until September to even start.

While sulking he heard the commotions of his neighbors yelling and just being their usual selves. Remembering the old saying **Sharing is caring** , he decided to walk next door to see what misery he could inflict upon them.

He walked towards the lingering gaping hole that no one has noticed so far. _'Talking about being hidden in plain sight.'_ he thought. He crossed the boundaries entering a scene of utter chaos. Now Hadrian could calm his presence better than any ninja with the practice he had with his aunt and uncle not to mention the additional practice in Hogwarts making him invisible to the naked eye, but seeing everyone in the state of disarray he just didn't bother.

Unsurprisingly no one noticed.

He walked down into the kitchens to see if he could steal some breakfast. Luckily for him he found that no one bothered to put the remaining food away. Leaning next to the table he started eating the leftovers, which considering the amount Molly Weasley cooked, could be considered a regular three course meal.

"BUT MOM!" yelled one of the redheads, Don, Ran or was it Ron? "school is over, why do we have to go back!?"

Hadrian could hear a deep sigh. "The Headmaster asked us nicely to help with the preparations for the graduation on the 21st. Besides he wants to work with Chris on something secret."

"Chris always gets everything. Chris is the chosen one. Chris is the heir to the Potter fortune…"

"Now now, stop sulking and get yourself inside the fireplace. The Headmaster connected the house directly to the school so we have an easier way to get past all the wards and doors. It's connected to an abandoned classroom so we don't cause a ruckus."

There was a minute of silence before the younger voice spoke again. "Isn't that stupid?"

"Really? What could happen?"

A light bulb went off above Hadrian's head. If Hadrian were to actually turn around he would have seen Chibi Hermione holding a glowing light bulb above his head.

Before he could leave to implement the **G** reatest **H** eist **O** f **A** ll **T** ime (or G.H.O.A.T. for short), Sirius Black entered the kitchen. Hadrian froze. Sirius looked the unknown kid over from top to bottom. He stopped when he reached his boxers. A small smile formed on his face. Sirius looked back at the kid's face and gave him a thumbs up before turning and leaving. Walking out Hadrian could hear "Like mother like daughter, gotta break the news to Arthur, sad sad."

Hadrian, blinking away the confusion, dashed away leaving a trail of dust behind him.

.oOo.

Hermione blinked the sleep out of her eyes. She stretched. Groaned. Threw her hands to her side to find nothing.

 _'_ _Oh boy. It's one of those days again.'_ She thought with a mental sigh.

Most of the days Hadrian would be the one sleeping in; not wanting to leave the comforts of their warm bed for anything in the world. He would lazily caress her slowly and gently waking her up.

Then there are days when she wakes up in a cold bed. Nor hair nor hide of Hadrian in sight for hours on end. Maybe even gone for days only to turn up at the most random of places of random of times.

Like on the rooftop of a church …cackling like a madman …pretending (hopefully he was pretending) to be the prophet of a zombie apocalypse until a big enough crowd formed up, only to jump down and start selling shotguns at a discount price.

Girls, even adult women, when confronted with their partner being gone for a long period of time would start to think the worst; that their partners are cheating on them, that they are not enough for them, that they have unrealized desires that only other people could meet. In another universe in another time Hermione might have been considered an insecure, self-conscious person with such a low amount of self-confidence that her first reaction to being asked out by a pretty guy was to think that it was a set up, but not this Hermione. She is confident in her abilities, her talents and her appearance to be able to fully satisfy her man. Her case is special. The reason why Hadrian disappears on occasion is simple, Hadrian Dursley is insane.

Not to mention Hermione could feel Hadrian's evil laugh through their bond.

Mentally she flipped a coin to see if she should stop Hadrian before he reaches full steam or to just sit back and watch the train wreck.

Heads. _'Damn'_ , she thought.

Hermione got up, put on her magical equivalent of a S.W.A.T. suit and went down to face the music.

She looked around in the living room, examining the clues to find out what could have gone through that thick skull of his.

She gave up after 5 seconds, she never was the Sherlock and Watson type so she cast a spell to reveal Hadrian's footprints for the last few hours.

She followed the footprints down the stair which she came inside the living room. The footprints clustered around the sofa indicating that he spent some time sitting there. The footprints then lead of to the fireplace, next to the fireplace, on the wall next to the fireplace, ON THE FUCKING CEILING above the fireplace.

Wow. Hermione knew that Hadrian pissed on the rules but she never thought he also included the rules of gravity.

The footprints, continued in a circle indicating that he started pacing in circles wearing a groove in the floor, (or ceiling, depending how technical one wants to be), then walking back down and exiting the room via the hole in the wall.

Inside the neighbor's living room she saw the footprints going down into the basement, but before she could continue the trail she found an envelope taped to the fireplace with the words **Hermione** on them.

The letter read:

 _Dear Hermione,_

 _left to achieve G.H.O.A.T. at Hogwarts,_

 _floo address is_ _ **abandoned classroom**_ _._

 _Sincerely, The Greatest Mind in the Galaxy H._

Hermione was so confused with the letter that she did not notice Chibi Hadrian flying behind her back carrying a satchel with the Weasley family crest on it, saying. "Steal the gold. Steal the gold. Steal the gold."

Incidentally neither did Chibi Hadrian notice Chibi Hermione following him with a disapproving scowl on her face, muttering "Chibi" under her breath.

.oOo.

 **Sometime later….**

 **Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hermione was starting to become frustrated. She tried to track down Hadrian but the over-energized bunny just keeps evading her. The most frustrating part was that she couldn't even get mad at him because she knows that it is unintentional. Hadrian, when he puts his mind on something, becomes an unstoppable juggernaut while Hermione was still mortal.

She glanced over to see the door to her precious library. If she could only take a small **book-break** as she called them this trip might be even worthwhile for her. Alas **Hogwarts: A History!** states that the most comprehensive and largest library in all of magical Britain is heavily guarded not only by wards but by the staff who frequently dwell into deep academic research.

About the same time she thought that the door to the library creaked open.

Hermione's eye ticked in annoyance.

After a thorough examination Hermione concluded that the standards at Hogwarts had dropped significantly since the publication of **Hogwarts: A History!**

\- The library is not under any ward

\- The library is not visited by the staff in the summer

\- The library door is not locked

\- The library door is not even closed properly

Even one of those would send Hermione into a rage but now, right now all of the facts just put a smile on her face.

Her fingers twitched. Sadly she couldn't pull a Hadrian and just make the library **disappear** but she could do the next best thing.

.oOo.

 **20 days until Graduation**

 **Secret Chamber, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Power. If anyone saw the scene in the Chamber of Secrets that would be the word that came to their minds. Pure archaic power.

Hadrian was levitating inside the middle of the Chamber using his raw power to jackhammer runes unto the floor of the chamber anchoring the surrounding earth to the foundation of Hogwarts.

.oOo.

 **14 days until Graduation**

 **Outer wall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian always wondered about the power of money and what it could achieve as he was dangling in the middle of the outer walls of Hogwarts castle. He was sitting on a school bench fastened to an old fashion pulley system. He had asked the goblins to mass produce special plates which he was melting onto the west wall of the castle. At first they said they needed 3 months to complete the project. As Hadrian doubled the amount he was willing to pay so did the production time decrease by half. He idly wondered if there was an amount which would have made the production time go into negative.

.oOo.

 **8 days until Graduation**

 **On top of the Divination Tower, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry**

Hadrian, as he was skillfully using a blowtorch to weld, was doing a bit of introspection. He realized that when his hands are doing repetitive work, like weeding the garden, peeling potatoes, cooking or using the occasional blowtorch his mind likes to wander. Right now he is wondering about Einstein's statement about infinity. He states that only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and while he wasn't an astrophysicist he was **heavily** banking on the latter to be true so that people don't notice the small (read: obvious) modifications to the castle.

Also as the deadline was crawling closer he was starting to become more frantic and sloppy. He almost had a heart attack yesterday when he saw that the container of highly volatile explosives, nitroglycerin to be precise, at the entry hall that he left was being used by Hagrid of all people as a substitute for a chair.

Meh, worst case he'll just die his hair red and hide at the Burrow. One or more redhead won't stand out.

With that last thought he finished installing the dome radar on top of the astronomy tower.

Hopefully nobody will notice that the top of the tower became less pointier and more spherical.

.oOo.

 **AN: The first who guesses how Harry plans to steal the castle gets to tell me what he wants in an omake and I'll write it. Please publish your idea in a review.**

 **Also if you want you can also try to guess what Hermione plans to do with the library. No rewards will be issued for anyone who guesses that.**

 **AN2: No Dahlia, you cannot have a guess.**

 **AN3: A lot of people will ask why I made this a cliffhanger. Simple. This is all I have written so far. I'll be busy for the next 2 weeks on a research topic so it was either the whole chapter in 2 or 3 weeks or half now the other half later.**


End file.
